Stay By My Side [Private: Shunji, Tempest, XaJjang]

Sitting on a stump, he looked up at the barren charred landscape that lay before him. With his blade in hand, he continued to carve into the small wooden log in his hand.

"What is in that land?" he said to himself. For once, he wasn't thinking about Shunji, but rather of their children that they had yet to have. He wanted what was best for her, for their family. But within him he held the fear that he would die the last of his kind, being the last Treeclaw.

"My love, are you awake?" he would ask without turning his head. His eyes were fixated on the fires and volcanoes deep into the vast horizon. That was not where they would live, but it was where they would have to travel. They would be yet again deep in a dragon's land, but this time he held hope, if not for him, for her.

He sighed, with the thoughts in mind. Something felt off, it just wasn't right. "I think we'll hold off on the adventuring for a while." he told her, "Perhaps living on the borders of these lands isn't such a bad idea. The closest dragons are either in those volcanoes far off in that distance, or far underground."

Still he sat, digesting his dream and what possibilities that he had to choose from. He couldn't shake the feeling something was going to change, that being with his knowledge or not. He could feel a shift in power, he wasn't sure where or who, but something was amiss.

It was then that he looked over to her, "Did you sleep well?" he would ask. Part of him wanted to ask of her dreams. It always bothered him how little he slept, if at all. It was as if his entire being fed off adrenaline and only adrenaline. He hadn't felt or experienced a dream for as long as he could remember, but then their was last night.

But it was much more than a dream.

Hearing her speak brought a smile to his face. She seemed so caught up in whatever dream she had. He often wondered what she thought about, but that was a question for another time.

"What if your view on the dragonic deities?" he asked, curious. He knew her distaste for dragons, but if that were the case, what was her view on the powers of these proclaimed gods? Did she hold the same animosity towards them as the rest of their lesser kin?

"I know you hate the topic, but I have to ask." He was curious. Questions etched themselves into his soul. He wanted answers to questions never spoken. Parts of him itched to understand, to know, to see. He wanted to know why, what, and who she held this hatred for. He wanted to know the extent of it, but he would not press further if she asked otherwise.

"What if a dragon told you that they could give you a great power?" He looked at her with much concern, ". . . and that power was greater than any dragon alive?"

He would begin to nod at her words. He could tell that the topic was beginning to unsettle her, and he couldn't help but bring it up every so often. With a soft laugh, he would close his eyes and lean back, as if to take in the moment.

"I would do anything to empower our people. Be it by a phoenix, or a dragon. If their words were true, then I could smite them with the gift they handed to me." He smiled, "But again, I've come from a much different life than you my love." Opening his eyes he would look at her with disgust in himself.

"I apologize for speaking of it so often." he admitted, "Just a lot on my mind. I'd like the best world for us and our children to live in."

It wasn't until after that he realized what he had said.

With a chuckle he opened his mouth again, "Different pasts, same future." He knew hoe differently they had grown up from young. He was born among dragons, his parents unknown. His kin were born to each other, treated each other the same. In their eyes, they were the beginning of peace. In the eyes of others, their solidarity was an abomination, and that lead to the massacre.

"Not a second goes by where you are not on my mind." he would say, "'Cept maybe when I eat. Then I think about the food. . . " his words trailed off with his mind.

He would cherish this bliss.

The dumbest smile would find its way across his face. It would be an understatement if it was said he was in love. To hear her say that word filled him with such emotion that he was beside himself in bliss.

But in his mind he still wondered if the dragons he met would help them for the best. He believed dragons were the same as reptilians, as both had their own advantages, but even in equality, there was evil. Xa would never forgive the Nightwings for what they had done to him.

"Dumb question." he would say while looking away from his future bride. "What language would we teach our offspring. . . If we had offspring. . . " He asked, curious if they would hold the same dragonic tongue as the rest, or be in the language of his own tribe. But the more he lingered on the thought, the more he realized it wasn't about his tribe, but who he was. He knew he was a reptilian born among dragons, that alone shaped his views on them. In the depths of his heart, he feared that he would be the father to dragons born by his blood. Could she ever love her own children if they were what she despised?

"Ah," he spoke, his tone just as joyful as before. "Silly question. I figured as much." The smile hung on his face, but beyond his mask his mind dwelled on the words for far too long.

"A waste of time." he thought to himself. "Essnochia, a waste of time. Then I too, must also be a waste of time." His thoughts led to another deeper and darker view, but on the outside the happiness was carried as it was before. He loved her with all of his heart, but those words had cut deep into his own soul. Perhaps he was born into a life far outdated. Perhaps his culture was primitive in the eyes of the rest. Perhaps he too, was ancient and an outcast by blood. He would not dare burden his children with such a thing. If he must carry it to his grave, then he was prepared to do it. He would not allow others to pain the way he did.

"I think we should set up camp here." he would say. "Not for forever, but maybe a few days, at least until we find something better and more . . . substantial, for us." He continued to think of the dragon that had picked him. He asked why.

But perhaps it was because of his upbringing.

His body would rise like dawn. He was the sun, every large and warm, but slow to greet the day and all within the world. With hands like fire, his soul burned as a flame. Some would call it love, but Xa'Jjang would refer to it as his curse. He was not born with the life of a reptilian.

"I'll go with you." He would speak, having trouble keeping his eyes open. It had been so long since he had slept, that he had grown accustomed to simply sitting with his eyes closed, meditating. His body was long past the point of survival and existence. He was in a constant state of rotting and deteriorating as well as healing and recovery.

"Xa does not trust other dragons." he would say. "Not all will offer aid."

While he believed all of the scaled creatures were equal in some way, he too held concern over what some of the dragon's true intentions are. He wanted nothing but peace and diplomacy. He knew. He knew the darkest scales would only bring them pain and suffering. He knew their ideals spread to the other lands. He would take no chance to lose the one he loved.

[No problem! You do you.]

Following her, his silence would hand over them like darkness of the night. There was much to say and discuss, but he wasn't sure if it was the greatest of time. He asked so many questions because he wanted to know if it was okay. He wanted to know if what he was doing was right. Internally, he fought his feelings and his sense of truth. And in the end, the latter won.

". . . But what if I said one did?" he would speak out, following her as he always did. ". .  . Last night, one came to me." he would speak, his eyes half opened. "We could live in a world where reptilians outnumbered the dragons. We would be in total control." He spoke, the drowsiness in his tone. "I'm sorry I asked so many questions instead of just telling you . . . "

"Anila." he answered. "She told me she was a goddess." He looked away from her with disgust within himself. "I thought I was dreaming, but it was real. I followed her into her realm." His face held puzzlement. He wasn't sure of what to make of it. He wasn't sure if it was an illusion or just another part of the same world.

"I'm not sure what is real anymore." he would add on. "In my dreams and reality, I want nothing but the best for you." But then he would look up to her, his eyes barley kept open as he did so. "Or maybe this is all a dream. Maybe you're not real." He would slow down, coming to a stop. His hands would fold into each other and rest upon his chest. "This isn't real. There is no underground kingdom. There is no other reptilian. No one could ever love me."

He would fall to his knees, his arms hanging lifelessly. His mind had gone without sleep for as long as he could remember, but even more so when Shunji begun to show up. He would spend the night watching over her, rather than clearing his mind as he usually did. "Xa does not get happy ending." He would say, his voice a soft whisper.

"Xaj?" the name echoed in his mind. Never had anyone called him that before.

With the sudden force of her hand against his face, he could finally make sense of himself. With the heat of her own body leaning close for a kiss, he could very much tell that it was real. "But. . . " he began, cutting his thoughts short, "Maybe there is no goddess. Maybe I was only dreaming."

He would blink heavily, only to open his eyes wide to look at the color of her skin. He would reach out to grab her in full embrace. "Then I hope that in this world you also know I will give my heart to you." he spoke, wondering how much of what happened, happened, and wasn't just in his head.

"Why am I like this?" he thought to himself. He felt restless. His life was stuck between immortality and constant death. Nothing could make sense of him. Was his power a curse or a blessing? ". . . What did I do to desearve someone so perfect?"