Resentment (Soshi)

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Was it a curse to feel pain? Better yet, was it a punishment to live in a world of a dying breed? More specifically, dragons? That was today's sob question of one such creature, someone who could not handle the death of many nor the real, or imaginative, neglect of their parent. Most dragons got on with their lives and in today's environment it seemed what was left of them made the best of it. There was still one of few who drowned in their own sorrows, and they tried their best to get over their past.

Typical of Incus to have a sob story, something he's been trying to correct and deflate since he discovered his still living mother... Who he had a falling out with due to poor choice of words. That was months ago, and he still couldn't get over his anger nor his grief. So far it all subsided to a dwindling flame but still haunted him, why it did he never knew. That was a lie. Incus could answer that question easily, but he continued to lie to himself in the fact he couldn't find peace nor happiness.

In truth, Incus hadn't known the two in many years, silence and sorrow, fear and anger, he knew the group of drunken toxicity but couldn't pull himself away. For the first time in years he actually felt something when trying to interact at the little festival between those Imperials, he felt joy and surprise when a certain goddess revealed herself, and a daughter she had. Why was he still so skittish? Why was Incus still so weary and mistrusting of others, including his own mother? It was still that emotion he felt, the fear, anger and sorrow that he developed from since he was a hatchling. And it was those emotions in which leads to an eventual downfall.

Incus was a demigod, son of Astral the goddess of the stars and son of... Nimbus, the god of death. Years ago, Incus was more attached to his mother more than anything, Nimbus' mistreatment of Astral clung to Incus like a tick on a hound. Though that treatment was scarce, it was when his own mother faked her own death and left behind a small ball of scales, Celestia. It was Incus who blamed Nimbus for not saving her, damning himself in the process with the newfound resentment toward his other parent, and the loss built and eventually exploded. If he was the god of death, why couldn't Nimbus prevent Astrals death? The simple answer was she was never dead to begin with.

It wasn't until months ago that Incus figured out his problems. He blamed everything on Nimbus, and it was the misconception that brought the young dragon to his downfall then. Nimbus found love in his betrothals death in the form of Celestia, he didn't realize how much he'd miss Astral until that day came. And so he loved his hatchlings and children more so, but Incus didn't want that. He wanted his father to admit he let Astral die, that he chose not to bring her to their domain. He had many questions, done ludicrous, as to why?! Yet, the simple answer was that Astral was never dead to begin with. And Incus felt he doubt even Nimbus knew until much later.

Flying over the landscape was possibly the best way to blow off pent up aggression. Flying at the fastest speed was possibly another best way. Flying too low trapped in thought and crashing into a massive pine tree wasn't the best plan at all. Incus woke up as the sun began it's slow crawl from the skies center to the horizons depth, the day still bright out albeit chilled. As Incus stood he felt a sudden pinch in his right wing and looked around to it. The wing was spasming slightly when he tried to keep it still, likely another cramp or crook he received from either the crash or the fall. Or both.

It was time to head back over to his den, Incus shouldn't be too far from it at all, a forgotten ruin of some ancient civilization well hidden in a mountain face within the Earthen territory. Incus knew the day was somewhat safer than at night when most the animals and monsters came out, some still around during the day but not as much. With a meager huff, Incus was dismayed as he turned to walk in the direction of his home due west. Last thing he needed was getting held up by some hungry beast... Or worse.

Incus knew he needed to be better, his attitude and his emotions, he knew that he was coming undone by the toxicity of himself. It was going to be extremely harsh doing that, he felt like he didn't have the strength to rid himself of the past, his own interpretation of his past. Something false covering the whole truth, and he did it himself. The Fury didn't know where Astral even was, he was banished from his father's domain not because Nimbus hated him, but because like poison Incus' emotion were effecting the other siblings causing them grief and resentment toward each other. Perfect role model of the season, he jests to himself.

The Fury lacked joy, happiness, trust and self love, most importantly self love. He felt like a burden years ago, his confidence drained and no one else to trust but himself. It truly was all his fault. And Incus wanted to stop that, but he didn't know if he had the strength to do it. It was best he tried it sooner than later, but perhaps not in the middle of the forest with any predators waiting to snatch him up. Without his wings, Incus knew it was going to be a long walk.

Soshi listened carefully, sort of surprised by what Incus said. Moonstones? She felt like she could use one that helped with wisdom about now. She then looked, thinking.

"It sounds like Astral taught you a lot." Soshi then sighed again. It had been a while since she just talked to someone, and for it to be a dragon. It was still shocking.

"Sorry I can't help you further than that," Incus replied apologetically, "Astral taught me a lot, though there is much I need to still learn. The Moonstones each had their own ability though it's hard to... Remember exactly what. There were different colors too, like green, red, blue, yellow, and maybe even others as well. Anyway, I'm not sure if Astral would be fine of you asking her simply for a stone. Maybe you could seek out someone who wields one?"

Incus at this point trailed on without realizing, however caught himself remembering what he'd show Soshi. Incus took a few steps back and cleared his throat, carefully trying to brace himself for what he was about to do. He then looked to Soshi, "Since you shown me what you can do, I want to show you what I have been working on, as promised. Make a large pillar of stone, if you can please... Or something similar?

Soshi nodded to Incus, and would slowly look at the ground as she took a few steps back. She would then raise a stone column up, smirking a little as she did.

"Hope this works for you."

Incus nodded and stepped back several feet... A little more than a dozen. Once the pillar was standing from the ground Incus began to focus. As a minute passed the markings across his body fully glowed as he let out small grunts and quiet growls, an electric jolt here and there dancing across his body. And then abruptly, the markings grew brighter in almost an instant to the point of near blinding. More and more sparks danced until they even charged across the ground, and Incus's maw glowed a violent blue color.

That same blue, fiery glow shifted between small flares of red and it's current color, and Incus looked straight at the pillar as it did. To anyone else the air seemingly shifted between hot or icy cold gusts, however to anyone descending from deitic origin, it was far more than that. The very energy of the charging power was chaotic and violent, yet divine and pure. And after another minute, something snapped in Incus and he fired a mango-sized orb of blue and red. The orb was almost instant when it traveled but instead of stopping when it impacted the pillar it ripped through the solid stone and continued through some trees much like a dagger through warm butter.

Moments later, Incus was panting and clearly tired but became alert as soon as he heard a loud explosion from afar, then a shockwave followed, nearly knocking him over. Incus' eyes widened, not realizing he put too much into the power and as a result he was exhausted. Incus then said to Soshi, "So... Uhh... Needs work..."

Soshi watched on in shock, feeling the power flow around her as Incus fired off the powerful attack. She looked shocked, and quickly lifted an earth wall in in front of her to stop some debris. Once it was done, she would lower the shield, giving a shocked expression as she eyed the massive dragon.

"That was something else." She'd carefully walk up, taking a breath as she made herself a chair. "Seems like your a lot better at tapping your power than I am."

"W-well..." Incus said trying to grasp the air for his lungs, already feeling the side effects of the power he produced, "It needs work... But I think... I'm making progress..."

Incus finally gulped some air and slower his beating heart, or at least attempted to. It wasn't supposed to be that strong at all, the power was anything but refined to begin with and his attempts at trying to do do were... Not in vain? Regardless, Incus shivered at the destructive power it had on whatever the blast had hit and had hoped it didn't kill anyone. Incus then looked to Soshi and said, "There you have it... That's my power I'm trying to work on. It's actually really tough believe it or not, but compared to the first time I tried it this was a little easier. I'm... Trying to make it so I can use it frequently and not just the one time."

Soshi raised a curious brow as she began to look over Incus. It had taken him a long time apparently to develop this power. She get and walk over, as if she could help if anything was actually wrong. She’d then take a slight breath.

“It’s starting to sound like mastering any powers like ours takes a lot longer than I thought it would.” She’d then form a small, earth-made dragon that would she would control like a puppet to sit on her shoulder. It was something that seemed to bother her a little. Learning all this.

For the young Nightfury that much was true. It took Incus a long, long time to develop this power, more so trying to control it so he didn't blow himself up... Again. Carefully, he composed himself as he almost fell over, still trying to catch his breath Incus begun to inhale through his nostrils and exhale out his mouth. He slowed his breathing although his heart still pounded, his wings still hurt and now he felt exhausted. If anything, it was a fools idea to try and attempt that sort of power but it also allowed him to see the progress he's made.

"I..." Incus started trying to catch his breath, "...Suppose so. I guess the next part is getting used to it... I caught myself on fire once... Umm... And I tried it on a corpse once. I don't think this power is something to take granted. You know those large serpents? Well their scales are almost identical to dragons, to it tested it on one and it was blasted apart, nothing... Surprising right? Well I tested on myself and... Well..."

Incus seed to shy away from telling a truth, but he was horrible at lying as it was, "Well, it hurt. A lot, a lot more than a fireball or a cone of flame. It felt... Like something was wrong when I used it on myself, and I could feel... I don't know what you call it, I guess gods and half breeds have sort of divinity like a sixth sense or a higher self if that makes sense... I that makes sense. Well, when I used the fire on myself it felt like I was on fire, but all my senses burned, and it wasn't a strong attack either! I was really weak, like how a Fire dragon breaths an element, however... I could feel my power drain, like actual life force being depleted the longer I allowed my flames to consume me. I can't feel a mortals life force deplete, it's just really strong fire to them, or whatever you call it. But I think... I think this does horrendous things to other gods and of the likes?"

Soshi looked... honestly shocked. She knew dragons were strong, but didn't expect another extremely strong one to be able to do something like that. Hurt the gods. Wait that meant her. Well if he actually wanted to hurt her he'd have tried already. She looked at the little puppet, on her shoulder. What were the limits of her abilities? Could she do a lot more than she thought. Couldn't think of that right now though.

"Sounds like a lot of power. I didn't think gods could be killed."

Incus caught the uncomfortable shift in Soshi's tone, so much so he couldn't help but actually take note of it. If it were true that he could indefinitely harm other divines much like himself, what else could he do? He didn't see the harm in experimenting, however that came at the cost of his own health, and the power he packed into a simple bolt like he just presented made him question his purpose in all the realms. Was his gift to destroy? Was it death, much like Nimbus, or was it to safeguard mortals like the other gods are meant to?

"Well… I always assumed that the God of Death, Nimbus, could potentially harm other deities due to his- well, his power to control death. If mortals can't kill gods, then it would make sense that other deities can do harm amongst one another… Not like that matters anyway," Incus paused as his tone turned sour, as if he were talking about someone bad or at least bad mouthing someone in particular, "Who cares if deities die though, I've seen what they do in their spare time, and frankly it sickens me… I want to get out there and help other mortals, dragons and Humans alike- They both[/u] have a right to this world, even Demi and Semi-gods, but I don't know how to do it… I'm not like my parents when they were so bold, and it always seemed like they had everything figured out… Say, you wouldn't have any tips, would you?"

Of course, when Incus said he'd see what gods do in their spare time, he meant Astral, his mother. Of course he loved her, there were a variety of things he wished he could have said to her when they had that one argument. So many questions he had, so much resentment that was misplaced and miscreated, however he slowly started to build a new grudge against the gods themselves. If the world was in chaos, if dragons were near extinct and Humans were slowly diminishing as well, why didn't the ones they worship intervene? Much like he heard from a survivor way back when, a true skeptic, [i]"If the gods exist, they clearly don't care. They don't care about us, our families, nor our pleas and cries. Phlah! They have their heavens, we'll build our own and spit and scorn 'em!"

And of course, that elder dragon was eaten by a monster, the poor fellow was already dead though. Heart attack. But Incus wanted to help everyone he could… But he couldn't get over his shyness nor his paranoia of others. Why did these things have to be difficult?

Soshi looked on Incus with surprise. He wanted to help everyone, be different than his parents, but he just... didn't know how. Honestly when he asked her she seemed to think for a moment. What could they do honestly. She looked down a bit, reforming the dragon puppet she rode in and hopping on it's head to speak eye to eye with the child of gods.

"I... honestly don't know. Can't say my hands are exactly clean when it comes to dealing with dragons in the past... and my last visit with one I was... involved with went about as well as could be expected." She then motioned to herself. "Plus you're talking to the goddess who's been hiding for decades. Not exactly an expert on interacting with anyone. Plus, I still don't know the full extent of what I can do." She then looked around, trying to think more.

"Might not help that I'm not modelling any of these gems I'm trying off of dragons." She gave a slight smile to suggest she was joking, but wasn't sure how else to answer really.

"Hm…" Incus thought as Soshi didn't have any kind of real answer either, which was a problem for Incus. Well, it was better than nothing, but a half planned out idea did pop in his head. Maybe unlike his mother and father, he could be the deity to help the mortals any way he could? He didn't have powers to heal, give crops and gardens whimsical growth and bounty, Incus didn't have the power to resurrect others from the dead let alone commune with souls like Nimbus. But what he did have was the power of destruction… Or, maybe vengeance.

Incus wasn't an extrovert like many others, he preferred loneliness and solitude, but it was time to actually make some semblance of a difference for the dragonkind… And maybe Humans too. Incus say's aloud, "Well… That kind of stinks… Guess I could figure it out… Huh, a place to start would be that large green worshiper that spoke to my m- Astral, and that dark one that hosted the gathering. I guess that's a start. Once you figure out your powers you could help the Humans too. But… I should be heading off now… I think my wings are finally getting around to flying status."

Soshi tilted her head as she listened to Incus. He was serious about this. But then he also somewhat challenged to help people too once she figured out what she was doing at least. The human would nod before diving back into the massive puppet. This time more for a little assurance while leaving.

"I'll do my best to if you do. And try not to get killed. I'm not sure how many other gods will be happy that I exist."