Soulcry, the Atmosphere Dragon

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Personal Info


Name: Soulcry

Alias: Soul

Age: 36 Years

Gender: Male


Personality: Soulcry


Over the decade, Soulcry has mellowed and matured since his excommunication with the Skywings.  He has had a terrible reputation, but his notoriety has since then faded, and he is much more responsible with his life.  He has neither plans nor intentions of anything to do with the Gods, they have been reluctant with him it seems, or straight out ignoring what he's been praying about; well, aside from daydreaming of becoming one of course.  Aside from that, he will not be associated with them anymore.

As for the evolution of Soulcry himself, like mentioned above he has matured.  He has forgiven himself, and he has recently become an icewing.  He favors the icewings very much, since they are peaceful and isolate.  This is like him very much.  Before he used to socialize, but now he likes to take time for solitude and meditation.

His personality is still dark, not necessarily sinister: it never really had been.  But rather than be confined to his perplexing views of the world in a duality of neither light nor dark, he has taken a much more cold, sobreing, and realistic outlook on life.  It is much more possible to him that, especially after the apocalypse and having somehow survived it without interacting with beasts of any kind, moreless observing the nightmares of his past self, as if somehow “personified” uncannily his prior self, which compels him to see the world with three eyes that say, maybe this is just a dark, cruel world.

Having said that, he is more reserved when he speaks.  He is more of an isolate personality rather than overdramatic, and at times even silly.  He isnt silly anymore, it turns out he's a bit embarrassed, but found a new life as a noble hearted draconiforme, who uniquely shaped his journey with much exercise and a great diet of fish.  He is a guardian now, and he loves his new life, ckmpletwly letting go of all the friends he made as a skywing and as a rogue, maybe he might encounter Wake again, but who knows.  Also, he will more than likely eat dolphins from now on.  



Interests: Magic, art, poetry, psychic development, paranormal phenomenon, meditation, solitude


Dislikes:Tempers, foolishness, dullness, and shallowness.

Fears: Isolation


General Appearance


Size: 36’11” long 13’ high

Scales: White, translucent scales covered by a fur of brilliant sheen.

Eyes: Indigo emanating a static electrical aura.

General Appearance: Pure white silver with an indigo and cyan glow.  High contrast, dark arms connected to his four wings.  A prominent, physical third eye.  A transparent body.  A flat, vertical tail with a phantom-like energy sphere at the tip of his tail.


Tribe Information and Status


Tribe:
Icewing

Inheritence: 70% Skywing, 10% Icewing, 10% Nightwing, 10% Lightwing

Rank: Guardian

Family: Supposedly has a brother named Phase

Mate: Single

Hatchlings: N/A


Skills and Abilities


Strengths: He is intuitive equipped with a keen sense of vision he uses to scope out the feild and can focus on multiple targets.  He is evasive and elusive, with mostly skywing herritage he is quick and nimble and highly meneuvarable.  He is intentive about being stricken as little as possible.

Special Abilities:

-Storm Breath and Lighning:

From his mouth he can breathe cascading, spiraling lightning, sparkling with icy crystals.  The crystals are razor sharp, and the lightning emitted is accompanied by a dark vortex or cyclone that forces these crystals into extremely fast rotation.  It has a blasting effect on the opponent. The attack stretches up to 300 feet.  Although it loses its power over distance, it also widens.  It's his most powerful attack.  Can be used once every three posts.

-Lighning

From his third eye, a more focused bolt of lightning can be shot.  Its not a cascade; rather it is a single, more narow bolt.  It is more accurate, though not quite as powerful.  It is high in contrast, dark and ultraviolet at its core and it beams brilliant white light.  As the appearance suggests it is both a lightwing and nightwing ability too.  It has an electrocuting effect. The bolt is dense, due to this fact it has a much shorter range of 120 feet.  Can be used on time per three posts.

(Both his attacks are powerful, and cannot be used together in a single post.  When one attack is used, the other attack must recharge.  They are both strong to waterwings.)

-Ultraviolet-Electrostatic Echolocation:

Like a radar, Soulcry uses his sixth sense to emit waves that penetrate haze, fog or smoke and even physical objects or pich dark to see.  Can be used every two posts for the durration of the post, and has a range of about 150 feet.


Weaknesses:

-His foreye is very sensitive to light and very susceptible and vulnerable to attacks.  

-His stomach is very soft and vulnerable, but not nearly as vulnerable as his eye.

-As a tiny part icewing he is slightly weak to fire based attacks.  He is also weak to Earthwing based attacks.

-In order to maintain his nimble speed and maneuverability, he is delecate and lightweight.

-His abilities all require time to recharge because they are so powerful.

-He has no resistances to the elements.

Combat Style: Soulcry is much better in the sky than on ground.  On ground he scurries if he feels overpowered, but is very confident if he shows himself in the air.  In the air he can evade and typically see anything with eyes like a hawk.  He tries to feel the pace of the battle as intuitively as possible, and usually stays at a medium to shorter distance away to strike opponent with lightning, in an attempt to make himself more accurate and powerful as well as distancing himself from his opponent when he is not offensive.

Background


History: As a child Soulcry and his brother Phase split in Nightwing territory.  Wheras his brother stayed, Soul fleed to skywing territory.  There he learned in school and eventually began fighting.  Unfortunately, though, after a combat once there, he was forced to leave skywing territory after accidentally killing another dragon in a fair fight.  He tries not to fight as often as possible anymore because of it.


RP Style: Soul solemnly draped his head over the cliff.  It was a long day for him, and he was heavily conflicted because of murder.  Two immense guardian dragons stood behind Soulcry, one of them spake.

“We should have you arrested,” said the guard.
“I know,” said Soul.
“Any last words before you leave this territory?”
And Soulcry leaned over the ledge a little more, and gazed at his daunting journey afore him.  He turned back at the guard who had spoken, gave a begrudging eye twitch and a remorseful snare, before leaping into the sky.

While he flew he had vivid flashbacks of being a child, and remembered how scary it was travelling away from his home.  He remembered all of his favorite moments of growing up at skywing territory with tears rolling down his eyes, until finally it sank deep how brutal of a baggage it was he had to live with.  And thus, Soul vanished into the horizon, where no one saw him from skywing territory again.


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Theres an inconsistency betwewn your abilities and weaknesses. At first, your third eye is string against seawings, but then its very susceptible to seawings? You basically can cover that weakness by shooting lightning right at the water out of desperation and youre set.

I have recovered from my illness a little and noticed that there are some things that are off. More on that later when I come on again...

Well, his attacks are strong to water but his defense is weak to it, IDK if I said that though its read it over. So there's an advantage to his weakness... So what?

Also, I think you mean that his resilience is high but is listed as being weak defensively, before I make yet another revision, should I make him stronger or weaker? Because as is, I feel like if he were to be defenseless he might be approved but very vulnerable.

Especially taking high risks with "recoil" damage, and being a grappler.

Hydra wrote:Well, his attacks are strong to water but his defense is weak to it, IDK if I said that though its read it over.  So there's an advantage to his weakness...  So what?

Ummm.....yeah....cause weakness=advantage.... You should relook at the app and probably remove quiet a few of the abilities.

Well there are more than just that. IDK, he's only 36% firewing.

For example, what if he has no energy?

So for simplicity sake, I’m going to list all your strengths and abilities, and be making a comparison with your weaknesses.

Strengths:
+ Strong Physically and Mentally

+ Can tank blows (you need to specify what type of blows. Considering how strong this app is, I’m going to request more details out of Soulcry)

+ Attacking his tail empowers him

+ Slightly resistant against Nightwings (do you mean their shadow attacks? I’m not going to accept being resistant against ALL their attacks or abilities)

+ Immune against Skywings (Overpowered. You are basically fencing them from ever being able to fight Soulcry at all. No dragons are ever immune against their own element.)

+ Resistant against Firewings by 125% (???; 100% resistance is basically immune. Again, far too overpowered as you are now untouchable against dragons of 2 tribes!)

+ Empowered by lightning. (You need to specify a limit to this empowerment, or just one lightning bolt can split the whole world in half)

Overall, your strengths by themselves are not too promising of a well balanced character to begin with. Some of these strengths belong to the abilities section, but it’s going to be hard to weed through the huge text.

Abilities:

+ Shapeshifting to other dragons for 30seconds, every 7 minutes, with no energy cost but cannot copy abilities

+ Flies up to 233mph with empowerment

+ Can ride a bolt of lightning and travel 360mph (You did not act on this change Celestia told you to do in her review). Also, lightning bolts travel at 750mph. Specify the speed of your bolt, but it cannot exceed 360mph. According to Celestia, 360mph is the absolute maximum of a pure Skywing with their speed as their ONLY ability.

+ He can add his own velocity on top of the lightning bolt (???; speed is not additive! Remove this, as this means you can even bypass the 360mph)

+ “In order to do so, a storm must be brewed, he will fly high into the sky then bolt down with the bolt of lightning, using his sharp mind to change direction and swoop just a few feet above ground, hitting the opponent or strike its side.” (This basically tells me that he can just go 750mph regardless because he is riding a bolt of lightning; Overpowered)

+ Can fire lightning with his forehead at 50% energy cost

+ Can breath lightning (45% energy consumption) and fire (66% energy consumption) (To be honest, I have absolutely no idea what these energy values mean at all. Does Soulcry start at 100% energy? Seeing these high costs, it means he can’t use all these abilities frequently. How fast can ge recover energy mid-battle?)

+ He can drain energy from Firewings, Lightwings and Skywings and heal from it (Downright overpowered. I’m not going to accept this regardless of how you tried to nerf it. Not only are you immune to Firewings and Skywings, but you can basically use them as walking batteries for Soulcry.)

+ “These spells can last from 15 to 45 minutes depending on how much prana/energy he has to cast it” (What’s a prana?? When was this introduced in his strengths?)

+ Basically has a spell to cast a thunderstorm to either strike himself for empowerment, or his enemies. Can do both, but both lightning bolts power is halved.

+ Can split himself into 10 very weak copies (5-10% as powerful when Soulcry’s energy is at 50%??? But 25% as strong when first cast???) that can only do so much as shoot weak lightning or weak fireballs total of 7 times, losing 3% of their size every time doing so, before dissipating, but can (somehow) distort field of vision and explodes upon being destroyed. Clones also ‘decay’ by 3.5% every 2minutes. (Being able to split into clones of yourself requires significant nerfs. Make them 5-10% as powerful regardless. Anything above the 10% mark is considered overpowered).

“It takes 50% of his energy to send 5, and 75% to send 8 and 81% to send all ten, but only 10% to summon 3” (I don’t know what this means. Please clarify.)

+ “his copies can disrupt visually the surrounding field of vision for up to 5 minutes, 30 seconds per copy and 3 minutes for Soulcry if copies are present, 5 minutes if only 1 (+30 seconds) due to lack of projection power, and 15 minutes if no copies are present.” (Sorry, I’ve become absolutely lost with the duration of this ability. So he can distort vision for a base 5minutes, +30seconds for each clone and +3minutes for the real Soulcry? Wouldn’t that mean the maximum he can hold for is 13minutes if all clones are present? Yet then you said he can maintain it for 15minutes if NO clones are present??? Please clarify this.)

+ Fire is strong against Lightwings (this one is pretty unusual, so I’m counting it as an ability. Earthwings are naturally weak against fire, so maybe you were going for that?)

+ Has 2 energy sources. Varied and Constant. (O…kay. This is complicating things way too far. Couldn’t it be more simpler if all his abilities consume constant energy? They were given constant values to begin with, and this is going to give others more of a headache to try and write down everything Soulcry can do. Not fun.)

+ “When receiving kundalini, Soulcry will become very powerful, but if it reaches a certain peak, which is unlimited in nature his moves will be reduced in count, due to the focus of energy. Also, if it reaches high enough, it will start hurting him.” (I am going to need a value in which is his limit after receiving his empowerment)

All of these are basically all the positives, and highly doubt your negatives (weaknesses) can ever account for all of these. Even if they could, it’s far too much and too complicated. Please simplify your app to the necessities. They are much better and more fun to RP with than forcing others to read huge chunks of text and needing a notepad to understand Soulcry.

Weaknesses:
-Sensitive forehead, takes 150% damage from Seawings and Earthwings (Another problem I’m encountering with your app is your character’s strengths and weaknesses are based entirely on who they are fighting with and what element they possess. It’s way too specific and can be considered impossible for some dragons when fighting Soulcry. As such, I’m not going to accept this kind of weakness.)

-He is light and can’t grapple. (So? You don’t even need to grapple to ensure victory. Just blow them up until they are down.)

-Very low defence. (You basically contradicted yourself. He is immune to Skywings and Firewings, and very resistant against Lightwings. He can distort field of vision, and ride lightning to get himself out of tricky situations. His sustainability by sapping Skywings and Firewings also covers this weakness)

-No Nightwing abilities. (I have absolutely no idea why you included this. Not having an ability does NOT equate to a weakness.)

-Can only empower himself up to 300% before he ‘overloads’ and becomes ineffective (this also belongs as a limitation in your abilities above).

--

So, for all the abilities and things he can do, he basically only has 1 realistic weakness. Soul is far too unbalanced, and there are some questions I have with his abilities as well. Please fix ALL of the problems I have listed before bumping. Also, please edit your combat style. You still have those poison fangs, among others, and some of what’s in there was NEVER even specified in either strengths or abilities. Please add them up there as well.

I know you said not to reply yet. But I found your post hilarious. D: I'm getting irritated trying to fix everything! Lol

It's just a bit of an unbalanced character at the moment, how would you like it if your character was up against mine in a duel and not only couldn't you get close to me, but all your attacks are redundant against me because I'm immune to them. In my opinion that's not very fair/balanced.

So just a few more things to be changed/fixed and you'll hopefully be close to finished! :3

Geez, on one hand, you say I have too many abilities on the other hand you say I'm not strong enough.

Strengths:

Soulcry wrote:
Simply, he is incredibly strong physically and mentally. He can withstand powerful blows of physical contact like punches or tackles, shadow abilities from Nightwings… He is slightly resilient to Earthwing poison, as well as water abilities and Skywing lightning, in fact lightning empowers him at a rate of 25-75% per bolt and peaks out at 666% of energy before taking damage if any higher…He is resilient to Firewing abilities by 36% and immune to fire itself.

Again, no. Not going to accept this. You are slightly resistant against Earthwing poison, water and lightning abilities, but even more resistant against Nightwings? I also have no idea where the resistance against Earthwing poison comes from despite not having an Earthwing background. You have a total of 5 resistances against certain tribe elements! It simply doesn’t make sense.

One HUUUGE problem I have also been noticing is that your abilities and resistances are all over the place and very disorganised. While reading your app, you mentioned resistance, then talked about something else, then back to resistance again, then another topic, and then back to resistance. I would recommend you put effort into organising your app or this is going to easily discourage staff members into passing this app to someone else to do.

Soulcry wrote:
It is when this happens his energy becomes extremely high, and has an exponential effect when it happens more than once. The energy absorbed after will harm him and create instability, but is balanced at or around 666%. Uniquely, at this point there becomes a lightning rod effect and it will attempt to stabilize itself by deflecting excess energy away, but doesn’t always work if it is too excessive.

So basically his energy capacity is 666% at most? That also means he can basically recover his lost energy by zapping his tail over and over again, and there hes back to 666% energy again. Overpowered.



Special Abilities:

Soulcry wrote:
Soulcry begins the battle at 100% charge. He recharges both health and energy at a rate of 25% every 10 minutes.

That’s way too much and too fast. Extend the time and reduce the rate.

Soulcry wrote:
Soulcry is a shapeshifter, meaning he can change form, including mirroring the opposing dragon, and/or mockingly mimicking them for a short period of time. He can shapeshift into any form for up to 30 seconds, with no drawbacks of energy, however it does not give him any advantage other than to move the location of his third eye/foreye. He cannot copy others abilities, he only tauntingly mimics.

Again, your abilities are all over the place. Much later, you will specify he can only shapeshift every 7minutes. Why not add this here as well? It will only add more confusion if you do so only much later when this is picked up again.

Soulcry wrote:
He can fly at superfast speeds reaching up to 121 miles per hour at normal capacity and up to 233 miles per hour when receiving kundalini. One of his moves is to ride a bolt of lightning he summons in slipstream, this overwhelms his kundalini but is very powerful as he can use the energy blowing past him to receive a slight boost reaching speeds of up to 285 miles per hour. He will guide the bolt in front of him to strike by projecting a path for the bolt using his third eye.

So due to how fast the lightning bolt is, it’s practically a sure hit against his targets because he can just look at them? It’s impossible to dodge. Overpowered.

Soulcry wrote:
He will then be charged at 360% energy which he can choose to jet tackle. The rest of the energy will remain in the strike.

What does this mean? Does it consume 360% energy to jet tackle? If so, where did the ‘rest of the energy’ thing come from?? Clarify.

Soulcry wrote:
In order to do so, a storm must be brewed, he will fly high into the sky then bolt down with the bolt of lightning, using his sharp mind to change direction and swoop just a few feet above ground, hitting the opponent or strike its side.

I have some suspicion that you didn’t really reread your app again to make sure everything makes sense. This part of your app is completely disjointed from the previous.

Soulcry wrote:Lightning breathed uses 1%-900% of energy per fire and fire will typically from 1%-200% of power per attack.

Does this mean he can vary the strength, and therefore energy consumption of his lightning bolts?

Soulcry wrote:
He can also cast lightning and fire spells, which can burn or induce a vibrating electrical current from the inside out. A spell he chants will bring a thunderstorm that will strike himself with lightning empowering him, and/or strike his opponent. The same can be summoned for brimstone but will not work to empower himself. This summoning takes 15 minutes to brew, 5 to strike and 25% of his energy.

It takes 5minutes to strike someone? Wouldn’t this mean it’s very impractical at hitting his enemies?

Soulcry wrote:
He can use a variant of the spell to cast brimstone to strike.

I don’t think Brimstone means what you think it means. It’s just sulphur!

Soulcry wrote:
Finally of his spells, he can heal himself faster by casting healing spells that require energy.

Don’t all healing spells require energy anyways? Also how much and how potent is his healing? Energy cost?

Soulcry wrote:
He has the ability to project copies of himself, up to 10 when 100% energized or higher… His copies are very weak, only 5-10% as powerful, losing their energy as they attack, but explode into fiery lightning when they vanish. They cannot cast spells. They each vanish upon first impact or attack, but this does not affect Soulcry in any way. It takes 10% of his energy to summon (or project) one copy. His clones can either shoot one small bolt of lightning from their foreheads or breathe one small fireball at a time. At 7 attacks, the clone will lose energy, and vanish, slowly losing power over time.

Why couldn’t you just put the two statements about clones altogether, instead of putting them along with the other abilities into a mixer and dumping it on the app?

Soulcry wrote:
He can pulse his third eye emanating psycho-waves. This doesn’t blind the opponent, but it can blur and distort the field of vision by pulsing his foreye. His clones have the same ability, but are allotted only a minute each.

How long for Soul himself? I don’t care if it’s in the weaknesses, this sort of limitation needs to be here.

Soulcry wrote:
He can see through his own pulse lucidly by activating an uv X-ray vision which requires no energy. Another form of psycho wave will damage the opponent, but also requires energy, this is not a Nightwing ability.

What is a psychowave? What does it look like? What are the energy costs?

Soulcry wrote:
If he is forced to grapple where he can can finish them off, he is weaker in this way despite his physical strength, but he will begin to recharge regardless. If he has charge at all, it will burn or singe the opponent.

This doesn’t make sense. There’s recharge, and then there’s charge. They don’t mean the same thing. Also how does it even burn his opponents?

Soulcry wrote:
When receiving kundalini, Soulcry will become very powerful, but if it reaches a certain potential, 667% or higher peaking at a grand total of 1000%, which is maxed, his moves will be reduced in count to one, due to the focus of energy dropping him to 100% and a span of time of 10 minutes to attack again is required, but he can cast spells.

I thought the maximum was 666%...

Again, I’m going to stress that you need to start reorganising your app and clarify these points. E.g. this should belong to where you stated he can charge up to 666%.

Also, does this mean that if he recharges beyond 666% his next attack would drop him all the way to 100% and he can’t attack again for 10minutes? And what are the spells? How is it different to the lightning I have read earlier? And even if he can’t even use his abilities for 10minutes, he pretty much has spells to cover for him. So I don’t even see what’s the real problem here at all. What can he do naturally that spells can’t? Why would it be a pain to overcharge himself and just launch one big powerful ability at someone, then spam spells at them, recharge up to 1000% then repeat?

Weaknesses:

Soulcry wrote:
Although he is a grappler, and is very strong, he has no arms, and since he can only shapeshift for 30 seconds every 7 minutes, he can grow arms for this duration, forcing him to grapple with his wings which are weaker when they leave… He is lightweight for his size at only 245 lbs, so grappling with heavier opponents will be very difficult, especially with his wings. As he can only use his arms for 30 seconds, a pin or submission victory.

I don’t know why you are completely fixated on pinning or submission victories. This isn’t a wrestling forum, you can just blow up the opponent with all your abilities until they stay down and give up. As such, this isn’t even a weakness.

Soulcry wrote:
His forehead/3rd eye or foreyes extremely sensitive. He is severely weak to Earthwing abilities by an added 50% of effectiveness and Lightwing only just slightly at 15%, both of which also reduce his energy to fight marginally.

What happened to his resistance against Earthwing poison? Not only that, he’s so sensitive that getting hit by those elements reduces his energy to fight MARGINALLY!? That’s not enough to be taken as a weakness if it doesn’t even impact on him that greatly.

Soulcry wrote:
His fire is reduced in effectiveness by 64% and lightning by 44%.

This sort of weakness is shared among ALL hybrids. I need weaknesses that are specific to Soul. As such, this doesn’t count.

Soulcry wrote:
He has no Nightwing abilities.

I don’t know why this is still here.

Soulcry wrote:
He loses energy fast.

He can recharge himself up to 666%, the most energy consumption he will have is 360%, the next is 100%, then 50%, 25% etc… yeah no. He doesn’t even lose that much energy from a single use of an ability. Even if he used something expensive, what’s preventing him from shocking his tail again with lightning to recover himself back up to 666%??

Combat Style

Soulcry wrote:
If charged too much, it is still powerful but if it reaches too high he can only use two or three moves.

Inconsistent. First you said its 1 ability, and now its 2 or 3?

---

Sooooo…

There are some changes that are made, which is good, but unfortunately the main problems I have with the app still stands. You have far too many abilities, most of which are inconsistent, very vague or flawed in their own ways, and only 1 or 2 PROPER weaknesses. You have removed energy drain, but basically replaced it with downright healing. Psycho wave has been added, although I have absolutely no clue how is it even related to the Firewing or Skywing heritage. It shouldn’t even belong there. So in actual, you probably added an extra ability while trying to retain the rest of his abilities.

Altogether, Soulcry is overpowered and far too complicated, with all these sorts of abilities, concepts and… really, just everything unrelated mashed up into one character that doesn’t make any sense. I’m not sure what the fuss is with giving him so many of these kinds of abilities. It would be much easier if you have 2 or 3 abilities and stick only to them without adding some completely new concept into the already convoluted mix.

It's a work in process. I have a neat idea for an identical twin.

Strengths:

Hydra wrote:
-Has high offense and speed, and is quite unpredictable.

Clarify ‘high offense’. Does he have the muscles, and if so, what’s the greatest feat he accomplished using pure physical strength?

Hydra wrote:
-When he enters hyper mode he develops an energy field that serves as a shield. Uses energy efficiently, and begins at 121% health and energy.

This belongs in abilities, not strengths. Also, I don’t see any detailed explanation as to how this energy field works. How many hits can it take? How long does it last?

Abilities:

Hydra wrote:
2.
Summoning clones.
Using his third eye, Soul will project copies of himself onto the battlefield at a rate of 10% energy draw per copy, and a maximum of 10 copies.
-They can fire small bolts of lightning from their foreyes, or small beams of ice.
-It only takes one hit for a copy to disappear.
-When they vanish, they explode into an icy lightning cascade.
-They are half the speed of Soulcry.

State your limitations for this ability here.

Hydra wrote:
3.
Vision and Distortion.
By pulsing his third eye, Soul can emit a psycho-electromagnetic disturbance in the atmosphere to distort the playing field’s optocity for 7 minutes. Also by pulsing his third eye, Soul can emit an ultraviolet signal which enables him to see in 7 dimensional echolocation, which penetrates clouds, haze, smoke, fog, ect, as well as his own electromagnetically generated field, but has a 1.75 second delay. He has acute awareness and vision.

I am confused about this ability, as it doesn’t bear any relation with his Skywings, Icewing or Nightwing heritage. The only way I can think of for this to make sense is if Soulcry has some Lightwing heritage, but seeing you have removed that, this had to go as well, as it’s quite close to light-based attacks.

Some dragons fight with reliance of sight hindrance abilities, and being immune to that can instantly put them at a disadvantage. What’s more, not only can you distort their vision for a huge duration of 7minutes, but you can easily shut them down afterwards with your breath attack. As such, this combination can become instant defeat, hence overpowered.

If you want to keep this, you will need Lightwing heritage and add more limitations to this ability.

Hydra wrote:
4.
Attacks.
Soul can breath icy lightning and fire lightning or an icy beam from his foreye.

You can’t breathe fire lightning if you don’t have Firewing heritage.

Hydra wrote:
5.
Summoning a storm. At the cast of a spell and the cost of nullifying his third eye for 25 minutes, Soul can summon either a hailstorm or a thunderstorm.
-Lightning attacks are more accurate in the rain.
-Ice beam attacks are more powerful in hail.
-Lightning strikes at random, but when third eye abilities are in play again, he can project a path for the lightning at a cost of 5%.

A common mistake I see with apps is that competitive RPers try to balance their OP abilities with over-the-top limitations or weaknesses, one of them including what I see here. Having to sacrifice the use of the third eye takes away at least 2 of your abilities, both of which are pretty much your main abilities, for a whopping 25minutes!

As debilitating that limitation really is, in reality it doesn’t justify for an OP ability at all, as altogether it makes Soulcry completely unbalanced. It looks like you are hoping to extend the fight to a full 25minutes, before being able to ‘lock’ onto your opponents and land direct hits with the more accurate lightning attacks. The huge sacrifice he’s making is why it’s unbalanced, especially when we are given 25minutes to defeat Soulcry, but even that feat is difficult because of the following…

Hydra wrote:
6.
Speed
Soulcry can fly to speeds of 121 miles per hour when charged at 100%-200%, or momentarily reach 181 miles per hour if he receives kindalini, however he does not get an energy boost if he chooses this ability.

This is pretty much in pure Skywing territory, or at the very least high percentage of Skywing heritage. We are not given what his ordinary speed is (when under 100%), and I would find it incredibly difficult to land anything at all if he’s speeding at 181mph. I would suggest dropping both speeds lower so it fits close to the 60% Skywing mark.

Note, non-Skywings can fly on average 70mph.

Hydra wrote:
7.
Regeneration and Healing.
At a rate of 15% every 25 minutes, Soul increases in health and energy. He also has a kundalini property that empowers him with energy when stricken in the tail.
-At the base of his tail, he will receive an increase of energy of 10%, exponentially increasing to 65% to the tip of his tail. This percentage is doubled if stricken by lightning.

Considering the huge number of abilities you are putting, I will demand a much more detailed app without any vague points. How does the healing even work? DRF does not use numbers or stats for each dragon due to its lore-based approach, you will have to describe this.

I’m also not seeing what’s preventing Soulcry from repeatedly hitting his tail up to the safe maximum power prior to any fight. He can already overclock himself to his highest potential at the start, while the other dragon has to sit around and think about his approach in finding the best moves to get to their desired situation. Considering the situations he would be in in a fight, this is overpowered.

If you want to keep kundalini, add more limitations so that he could not just hit it if with his own attacks.

Hydra wrote:
8.
Hyper mode.
When Soulcry reaches 500% overcharge, a couple different things happen. For starters his type changes to a purer skywing at 90%, 5% Icewing, and remains 5% Nightwing. In order to do this, 5 or more clones must be present to balance the type change. The clones will be about 70% Icewing each, 25% skywing and also remain at 5% Nightwing, however, they can only use skywing abilities and become very weak to fire. There must be a storm.

I… don’t know how to tell you this except we don’t run it this way… at all. No dragons are allowed to just change their heritage like that, especially if the flexibility it provides is far too much and well within the overpowered range. Not only that, to change your heritage is to pretty much throw our lore into the garbage or having the ability to alter your own DNA to whatever you desire. I’m sorry, but I don’t know how else to suggest something aside from completely removing that altogether.

Your clones are very inconsistent with the clones you have describe in your abilities above. I would consider revising them.

Hydra wrote:
Basically at this point he becomes a lightningrod to prevent any more energy absorption. Lightning passes through him and into the ground, maintaining him at 400 - 500%.

To me, this is just another attempt to try and gain immunity to Skywings by making lightning attacks absolutely useless against Soulcry. Even if he has to overcharge himself, he can already do that in the start by repeatedly hitting his own tail up to this point.

Hydra wrote:
He will leave hyper mode if one of five clones diminish or at the end of 120 seconds, his energy and health both will then drop to a fixed 81%.

I will find it difficult to hit any of those clones without getting hit by a 100% accurate lightning attack, making dropping his health to 81% quickly not even worth it. Also, there is a huge loophole in this statement. What if Soulcry had taken, say, 50% damage already? Does that mean he recovers up to 81% after Hyper mode?

Hydra wrote:
If he is struck by lightning, time will increase by 5 seconds, it has a 20% chance of striking every 20 seconds.

Time manipulation is banned.

Hydra wrote:
But his energy will be fixed at a minimum of 400% until the end.

So basically he’s never leaving hyper mode for 120seconds or, for some unknown reason, one of his clones diminished, and can spam all his hyper mode attacks at his opponents. Yeah… overpowered.

Hydra wrote:
He will be able to create paths for lightning to strike with 100% accuracy, but his uv echolocation reduces it's effectiveness due to its delay. The reason he becomes blind is because the light from the lighting emanating off him is dramatic and bright.

Aside from the fact that a 100% accurate lightning attack is heavily overpowered due to it being a sure hit with its massive travel speed of 750mph, your limitation that comes after is VERY situational, i.e. if he pulsed his third eye at some point to induce vision distortion, or if the opponent dragon has sight-hindrance abilities. For this reason, I don’t see how this will negatively affect him if Soul is fighting against, say, Sly or Baldi.

Hydra wrote:
-Between 250% and 499% energy overcharge, he will begin to take minimal to slightly less than normal damage. Above 250%, his energy will instinctively reduce at a rate of 10% every 5 minutes.

5minutes is quite a while to wait. And how does the 250-499% values affect his base resistance against Skywings or Icewings?

Hydra wrote:
-Lightning striking from his forehead will reduce his energy by a choice of varying 25% or 50% or 75% energy cost. When in hypermode, all strikes are 50 or 100% energy determined at random.

As Celestia pointed out, there is no one to keep these values in check (you can just abuse the lowest value over and over again) as we don’t have any dice system in place. Abilities with random figures are therefore not allowed.

Hydra wrote:
-Ice beams shot from his forehead cost him either 25% or 50% energy. He cannot use Icewing moves in hypermode.
-Icy lightning shot from his mouth is choice varied at 10% - 499% energy consumption. He can blow lightning as hyper mode with no cost but a power of a random percent between 10% and 200%

Again, no dice/probability system in place. Remove the random chances and determine a fixed value.

Weaknesses:

Hydra wrote:
-His forehead/3rd eye or foreye is extremely sensitive.

He… pretty much had it covered with icy lightning from the foreye to freeze any incoming attacks towards it. I would expand on this a lot further, especially since you have a lot of abilities to balance out.

Hydra wrote:
-He is severely weak to Firewing abilities by an added 30% of damage, and loses 10% of his energy when hit by a lightwing ability on top of its regular damage.

I’m not liking the specific heritage opponents need to have to be effective against him. What if it was a Seawing? How would the Seawing take advantage then?

Hydra wrote:
-He has low defense overall.

Expand on this. I’m not going to accept a one-liner weakness due to how incredibly vague it is, and how strong Soulcry is becoming.

[quote="Hydra"]
-He can be drained fast, losing energy when using any of his lightning abilities. If he hits zero, neither his energy nor his health will recharge for an added 10 minutes from that moment on, and an added minute for every 1% he goes below.

Hydra wrote:
-He sacrifices strengths and gains weaknesses to retain his abilities.

Did you just break the fourth wall? This is not a weakness at all, but it’s literally what the staff is telling you to do.

Hydra wrote:
-Physical contact hits like tackling, biting, scratching or headbutts are painful and powerful, (he does not do well in close combat,) throwing him out of balance.

You contradicted yourself here. Refer to your strengths, where he excelled at ‘high offense’ and speed.

Hydra wrote:
-All attacks when hit, but lightning and ice when at a high capacity of energy do an added 10% more damage.

This is adding even more confusion. We know he’s weak against Firewing and Lightwing attacks, but now he’s weak against all tribes except Skywing and Icewing by a further 10%? Your character needs to be consistent!
--

I also wanted to point out that all your weaknesses are basically done in 1 sentence, where, compared to all your abilities, some are a lot longer. Considering the strengths of this character by abilities alone, I will be demanding a much more detailed weakness.

As for your argument that Soulcry will be ‘vulnerable’, ALL characters on DRF are vulnerable, some to different degrees. There is absolutely no point creating a character where he basically has minimal to no weaknesses but immense number of abilities if they are just going to power through every plot we throw at them.

Recommendation? Delete all the abilities and weaknesses, and just redo them with many less.

May I see what sly says foist?

Okay, mostly I just wanted to test the waters to see what youbwould think.

Hydra wrote:
Species: Skywing 70% / Icewing 10% / Nightwing 10% / Lightwing 10%

I will be keeping note of this for below


Strengths

Hydra wrote:
-Lightning is strong to Waterwings and Skywings.
-He is strong offensively and is quick evasively, flying at speeds of 100 miles per hour.
-Starts battle at above full of health and power at 4/3 capacity.
-He has a powerful jaw strength and neck strength.

*Rubs temples*

Okay,

I probably should re-iterate that everything under strengths refers to how strong your character is PHYSICALLY and MENTALLY, that is, how strong he is in terms of muscles, how fast he is, and how good is his thinking skills. Aside from the 2nd and last point, everything else does not belong here. They belong in the description of your abilities. Also, I’m going to break this apart as well…

Hydra wrote:
-Lightning is strong to Waterwings and Skywings.

There’s no Waterwings. What you are thinking is Seawings.

Also, I am not going to agree on lightning being powerful against basically the only tribe who can conjure lightning. Unless you explain the hidden properties that make them effective against Skywings, this is NOT ACCEPTED.

Hydra wrote:
-He is strong offensively and is quick evasively, flying at speeds of 100 miles per hour.

Ellaborate this more. HOW is he strong offensively? Does he have powerful muscles? And HOW is he fast? You mean he’s fast enough to dodge attacks? Describe the attacks he can and can’t dodge.

Hydra wrote:
-Starts battle at above full of health and power at 4/3 capacity.

This makes no sense at all. How can he start a fight “above full health” and over 100% power capacity? This needs to be realistic. Everyone starts at ‘full health’ anyways and 100% power capacity in your language regardless, so I’m not even seeing what you are trying to achieve here.

Abilities:

Hydra wrote:
1. Attacks:
-Cascaded Lightning Breath
–Freezing Lightning: This attack is part Icewing.
–Black Lightning: This attack is part Nightwing.
–Aura Lightning: This attack is part Lightwing.
-The Striking Eye: Fires a powerful bolt from Soul’s third eye: This attack is pure Skywing.

What I’m not going to accept from an app is basically listing the name of their abilities without providing adequate description on what they look like, how powerful they are or any limitations on them. Reason for this is because it is so vague and can basically manipulate it to being no restrictions, nothing bad.

As such, like I have repeated many times before, you need to add restrictions to your abilities, especially those you changed or added.

Hydra wrote:

-Shark Bite: This attack has no resistances. He has a powerful vice, and thrashes his neck, slashing his teeth chaotically along the dragons neck.

So basically an attack that can bite through anything? I did say you are allowed abilities with no resistance, but I did not mean this. This is going to need some limitations, and therefore need of resistances if it ever wants to see approval.

Hydra wrote:
2. Summoning a thunderstorm
-Casts a spell that nullifies his third eye abilities for 7 minutes.
-Takes 15 minutes after spell is cast to form.
-Lightning becomes more powerful and accurate.
-Recharges health in the rain.

I have already stated this before, over-the-top limitations and weaknesses WILL NOT counter-balance overpowered abilities. As such, if you really want to keep Thunderstorm, I’m going to demand that it becomes less accurate and powerful (only pure Skywings are able to control pure lightning), and also tone down those limitations.

Hydra wrote:
3. Health and Regeneration
-He will receive kundalini when stricken at the tail, empowering him. -The power received is exponential from marginal at the base to full at the tip.
-Can go above normal, full capacity; however, at twice as high he will begin to take damage. At three times as high, he will become a lightningrod, directing any lightning towards the ground, preventing any higher.
–At three times overcharge he will become blind, and depends on his ultraviolet echolocation.

The problem with this kind of empowerment is that there’s nothing I can use to regulate when it becomes twice or thrice the capacity. As such, this is too vague and in need of more description. Also, a lightning rod does NOT direct lightning to the ground, but it attracts lightning!

Hydra wrote:
4. Vision
-For 4 minutes and at a cost of some of his power, he can disrupt the visual field of vision. He does this by pulsing his third eye.
-Also by pulsing his third eye, he can see in ultraviolet echolocation. This has a 1 second delay per 100 yards. –This penetrates haze, smoke, clouds, and his own visual disruption.

I already told you to add limitations for this ability and I have stated my reasons why.

Hydra wrote:
-Can project a path for lightning using his third eye in the rain (either from Soulcry or from the storm. Improves accuracy of strike by 100%, but reduced effectiveness of lightning by 10%, and takes 5 minutes to charge. He can project a path for lightning to strike his tail.

Paraphrase part is incomplete.

What does ‘reduced effectiveness by 10%’ even mean? Say Sly got hit by this lightning. What will he suffer? 1st degree electric burns? Paralysis? These numbers don’t mean anything at all as we are not a stat-based RP site.

Also you have stated that you reduced the ability count to 4. Although you listed your abilities up to 4, in reality, I have counted at least 8 different abilities that were not related to one another. Ability to ride lightning has been removed, but was in favour for ‘Shark bite’. As such, you did not actually reduce the number of abilities at all.

He can fire dark/ice/normal lightning from his eye, he can empower himself with kudalini, he can use thunderstorm for sure lightning, he can heal himself, he can distort vision, he can see through UV, He has shark bite, and he can direct the path of lightning. 8 abilities! And you told me you reduced it to 4.

Weaknesses:

Hydra wrote:
-His third eye is very vulnerable.
-He is weak to Lightwing abilities. They will drain his power.
-He is weak to Nightwing abilities, they will drain his health.
-He is weak to Firewing Abilities. They are 25% more effective.
-He is weak defensively overall, all attacks have an added 10% effectiveness.

You have pretty much ignored my suggestions for changes to weakness completely. They are all stated in one or two very short sentences, you did not go into detail about third eye weakness, you are making far too specific weaknesses that require opponents to be of a certain tribe, AND you kept the very confusing last point of being weaker and everything is 10% more effective – which completely muddles up his weaknesses to those specific tribes you listed earlier.



Combat Style:

Hydra wrote:
If they emanate an aura, this will empower him.

Where did this come from? Why isn’t it in the abilities?

Hydra wrote:
He will then fire a shot of lightning with all of his energy, then continue biting again. If that doesn’t work, he will project yet another bolt to strike his tail, and use it to reach 121 miles per hour. Bolting towards the opponent, he will then tackle with rigorous force.

You removed this ability altogether already. This shouldn’t be here at all.

--

Sorry, not meant to act all rude and stuff, but I am strongly encouraging you to put a lot more effort in fixing the app as suggested by my previous reviews. You have made some changes, but in the same time, opened even more holes for me pick up. But there are changes which you have completely ignored and submitted me a not-so-complete app for review. And all together, it’s very frustrating…

Anyways, tell me review your app only, and ONLY IF, you followed everything I have stated above. And I meant EVERYTHING. Then bump when ready.

How's it now?

Much better!

Though there are still a few places to work on before I will consider approving him.

Strengths:

Soulcry wrote:He is willful and accurate, making wise split second decisions with ease.

This is just downright impossible. It’s far too overpowered if you can just make the most wisest of decisions when you only have less than a second to act upon it.

Soulcry wrote:He has acute awareness of what's going on on field, and bases his actions and reactions with his incredible sense of intuition. His diamond scales are very resistant to physical attacks.

With high acute awareness, you can easily just metaplay him and make him sense even the best of hiders or assassins. If you want to keep this sort of strength, you will need to go into detail of how he gained this, as well as any history related to it. Also, you need to state how resistant those diamond scales are and state the limitations. What can pierce or break it?


Abilities:

Soulcry wrote:
Summoning an icy thunderstorm.
-Recharges health slowly in the cold rain.

How fast can he heal himself from a minor cut, compared to a deeper gash?

Soulcry wrote:
Vision
-For up to 4 minutes every 15 minutes, he can disrupt the visual field of vision. He does this by pulsing his third eye.
-Also by pulsing his third eye, he can see in ultraviolet echolocation. This has a 1 second delay per 100 yards.
–This penetrates haze, smoke, clouds, and his own visual disruption.
-He is vulnerable in this way, as his third eye must be open to perform these abilities.

I’m still going to demand more limitations to this ability as it just makes him being able to detect any dragon hiding from him anyways. 4minutes lasts way too long, as he doesn’t even need that long of a duration to detect anyone in hiding.


Weaknesses:

Soulcry wrote:
-He is one of his weaknesses, because he will hold himself back, afraid to kill again. Actually for this reason, he is not much of a fighter.

This is pretty much contradictory to what I have read on his strengths. If he’s not much of a fighter, he would not have possessed amazing reflexes or even the ability to make the best split second decision ever like a great thinker thinking for an hour. In addition to this, you also stated that he doesn’t know when to give up and requires finishers to take him down. Hence, he’s not even holding himself back.

Bump

Strengths:

Soulcry wrote:
He is persevering and stubborn in combat. Often he will rise to his feet time and time again, after becoming weak It takes a serious blow to finish him off. He never knows the word quit. He has high stamina, powerful jaw strength, neck strength, and tail strength. Electric and energetic, he is evasive, rapidly changing direction while in flight, diving or chaotically maneuvering with flow and balanced, and mastered chi energy. He is willful and accurate, and has a trained attitude. He has acute awareness of what's going on on field, and bases his actions and reactions with his incredible sense of intuition. His diamond scales are very resistant to physical attacks.
He functions optimally between 15 degrees Fahrenheit and 60 degrees Fahrenheit

…

Weaknesses:
-His third eye is very vulnerable when open. He closes it when not in use, but will often use it to see for strategy, accuracy, and some of his abilities. When attacked, it is a full body effect and is weak to all moves. He may have to roost to recover from the pain, despite his high endurance and stamina, leaving him even more vulnerable. He must protect it at all costs.
-With a sensitive third eye and eyes, bright lights will blind him temporarily, depending on how bright and for how long exposure was, forcing him to depend on echolocation, which has a delayed response time.
-He will hold himself back for fear of killing again until he learns to like it again.
-He is pretty small in size, facing larger dragons could be a huge struggle. Even his mouth is small, if the dragon is too big, he won't be able to bite them.

You did not describe in detail how tough the diamond scales are like I told you to.

With how many strengths you are piling up on him, in addition to his abilities, you weaknesses don’t cut it for balancing this out. On paper, he just has far too many benefits that I highly doubt anyone can hit him at all, thanks to his evasiveness and ‘chaotically maneuvering with flow and balance’. Also what is Chi energy? We don’t use Chi energy here, so you will have to explain it.

Not only that, he is accurate as well and have acute sense of awareness. You did not give me a lot of description on this and is therefore vague and can mean he can sense any assassins, spies and whatnot the moment they entered any topic involving Soulcry. So sneak attacks are an utter failure against this guy. This leaves fighting him upfront. Going physical with him is bad because of evasiveness, high stamina, jaw strength tail strength, neck strength etc. Fighting at a range is bad because he distorts their vision, making their range attacks have a high chance of missing, while he can just land a bolt of lightning and whack them dead. Can’t outsmart him either because of his high ‘sense of intuition’.

Your weaknesses don’t help either, because the only part of him that matters the most is far too specific on one point of his body (the third eye) rather than something in general. I could not think of any ordinary dragons aside from gods that can hit him square on in the forehead without him dodging. Of course, he does have a viable weakness, but its very difficult to hit him there anyways.

As a suggestion, either cross out some of your strengths or add more viable weaknesses to Soulcry.

Soulcry wrote:
-He can become very weak physically in extremely low temperatures like -40 degrees Fahrenheight and his defense lowers exponentially starting at higher temperatures than 90.

The temperature weakness is very unreliable because he can just choose to fight in a warm setting and won’t have anything to fear about his ambient temperature. Not only that, but you are being highly specific in that only Firewings or Icewings can cripple and take advantage of this weakness.

Soulcry wrote:
-He will hold himself back for fear of killing again until he learns to like it again.

I have absolutely no idea why you are hanging onto this even though I told you that something like this not even a weakness to begin with. That belongs to personality. You can just turn him into liking to kill again within one topic, and this ‘weakness’ is therefore gone and eliminated. Weaknesses that can be eliminated are NOT weaknesses.

--

Overall, the major problem I'm now focusing on is your strengths in combination with your abilities. They simply don't balance out the 2 weaknesses which I will accept (Third eye and size disadvantage) because it becomes extremely difficult for anyone to reach them, thanks to his strengths covering him to begin with.

Rebalance your character by removing strengths and adding more weaknesses before bumping.

Bump

Hydra wrote:
Tribe Information and Status
Inheritance: 70% Skywing, 10% Icewing, 10% Nightwing, 10% Lightwing

Going with your abilities, I don’t see any reason why you need to include the Nightwing heritage at all. Lightning attacks and UV echolocation are both Skywing and Lightwing abilities, with a bit of Icewing due to the ice crystals.

Hydra wrote:
Skills and Abilities
Special Abilities:
Icy Lightning - From his mouth he can breathe cascading, spiraling lightning, sparkling with icy crystals. -From his eye, a more focused bolt of icy lightning can be shot.

This ability is fine, but my major issue with it is that it is a lightning attack. Lightning travels very quickly and, in nearly all instances, are auto-hit. Because of this reason, I would require some limitations that will prevent Soulcry from spamming this, or give enemies a better chance at evading them. An example of such is high energy cost, or needing to recharge after each attack or a delay before it hits.

Hydra wrote:
Ultraviolet-electrostatic echolocation - like a radar, Soulcry uses his sixth sense to emit waves that penetrate haze, fog or smoke and even physical objects or pich dark to see.

This ability will require some heavy limitations as well. Being able sense his surroundings and penetrate any vision-impairing abilities mean not only will surprise attacks never work, but it means he can always lock on everyone around him for as long as he likes. What makes him unable to completely abuse this ability and avoid everything?

Hydra wrote:
Weaknesses: His foreye is very sensitive to light and very susceptible and vulnerable to attacks.

His stomach is very soft and vulnerable, but not nearly as vulnerable as his eye.

These are very specific weaknesses, and unfortunately don’t counterbalance against the two abilities you have as well as your strengths. Currently, the only kinds of dragons I can see that can stand toe-to-toe against Soulcry is any bulky spear-heading dragon, but they will still be beaten by his speed and manoeuvrability.

Overall, I don’t really see any clear weaknesses with this app. Although you did cut out a lot of stuff and did the app fresh, you have done a very good job making it much more simpler. You only need to tweak these abilities by adding limitations, as well as putting up a bit more weaknesses before this app is good to go.