I Could Make You Care (Helia)

With how little the numbers were there was a surprising yet slow build in the population of the Order of Starlights. It would possibly take years, but one could always hope for the best. That one was the Sovereign Attor, king of the Starlights. It had been awhile since the aid from the Elder Dragon and the undisputed King Baldirak who built a large dome around the buildings that really needed it. The gardens of herbs have been doing well, they grew better with the limited sunlight instead of full light. Destellia and Snowscale had their eggs hatched, the hidden caves along the plateau they were on were being reformed into actual homes, and regular animals were returning in large numbers which meant better hunt and a near constant supply of food.

Though, things were still grim for the Starlights as their numbers weren't large before, this new start they had was going to be tough on everyone if it weren't already. Recently, Attor created a religion, which will soon be two religions but the first was simply a means of providing hope and possibly restoring faith in other dragons. The gods abandoned them, but maybe they were being watched by one? As Attor put it, Shardas couldn't interact with mortals as he was, instead he provided an everyday light and a chance with how lucky these dragons were. Though this religion was strict in its own ways, the Way of White was no doubt a good idea but was still determined whether it was better on scroll or not.

With only Attor being the shadow of the church and him grooming the Grand Priest, it was a difficult task as scrolls of an old age provided them good defense and offense. Regardless of magic, they were but two, but some time ago there was a third. Helia, a LightWing who was the very first to rise through Attors ranks left when she finally reached the status of Seeker. Though he couldn't find why she would leave, Attor searched and searched until Hanual convinced the Sovereign that Helia was gone, done and simple. Giving up, Attor returned to his duties.

Hovering in the sky above the Lush Jungle, Attor was scanning the ground for any prey. Recently he'd caught an Elk but that was it, with the few other hunters doing their job this proved difficult to find large game. But he didn't have to do this, only he did it to get a break from the stress and simply be a dragon. Monsters made that extremely difficult, a little freedom never hurt every once in a while. With the Way of White established now, it was a matter of if or when it would fall. With a new set of ranks coming up and thanks to his Yellow Moonstone, Attor was already conjuring another following though it would come later with the rise of the population. For now, he simply hovered and pondered on future ideas for the Starlights as a whole and not just their extensions.

The slender dragoness was sitting on the shores of one of the many floating islands of the jungles, looking out onto the sky and it's clouds. Far below the lush forests of the jungle spread out and somewhere beyond the covers of the trees lay the homes of most
tribe dragons, Sky and Light alike. It had been a long way to get them to live side by side in relative peace, but the threat of the monsters had huddled them together, mending broken edges between the two nations. Now they lived in the safety of each other, at least what little their numbers could give them.

She had been with them for a while, right after they had fled here. Her sisters had convinced her it might be a good idea to stay around other dragons, even to join the newly found religion of their sovereign just to find some more sense of belonging, another family, but no. She couldn't. Not with everything it demanded of her. So she had fled the many dragons and come here. The floating isles had given her a small home, nothing more than another cave really, but slowly she was making it livable. Adding levels and maybe a small hut or terrace, just enough that she could continue her studies and live comfortably, close enough to safety, but far away enough to be alone. The lofty heights and roaring winds agreed with her, and the sound of the wind howling through the caverns and cracks in the island calmed her senses. Sometimes she just sat there for hours and listened to it, when the melancholy threatened to wash her away.

It was another day like that, she felt herself being close to succumbing to this sadness, but Hashal was right, she had made plans today to go scout the outskirts of the new Starlight settlement to see how the nature reacted to the sudden change in population, so that was what she was going to do. Rather gracefully for once, she pushed off the side of the shore and opened her wings to catch one of the air currents that would let her glide down towards the jungle with relatively little effort.

Attor caught a glimpse of something diving but elected to ignore it, trapped in his own thoughts he tried to escape from. No, everything was looking better compared to when the Starlights first started though everyone was still scared. That couldn't be helped, but eventually they'll get back on their paws and deal with all the mess in due time. Again, something caught the corner of Attors eye and he turned that direction, spotying a dragon coming from one of the floating islands. He followed it's movement, eyeing it's flight until he noticed it was a dragon... maybe.

The Sovereign carefully remained in the same spot he was hoping that whatever that thing was didn't notice him. Something urged him to follow though, normally he avoided such things or it approached him... not this time. He followed this urge and as soon as the thing was in position Attor followed a safe distance behind it. He'd done this many times with monsters and rogues that it wasn't out of the ordinary.

In these times his faith wavered with ease, though he created the Way of White, Attor wasn't one for worshipping Shardas, rather he used to worship Astral and Kelarth but since the attack they've yet to show themselves. Instead, he ironically would give people hope should they take it, and soon he'd hope their ranks prosper and spread light. But it was to be determined. He still followed his instincts and whatever the creature ahead of him was.

While flying she could sometimes forgot whatever it was, that she was thinking about. The way her scales grew let her feel the wind between them, rushing through the tiny cracks and tunnels and the sensation was hypnotizing. Sometimes she just let herself glide, feel the wind in her wings and notice nothing but the pattern it drew in her scales. Nowadays it was stained by pain and the sudden flare of a not yet fully healed scar reacting to the cold air, but that sensation would fade, just like all the other wounds her body had taken. In some places her scales had already grown back and covered some of the scars and she was eternally grateful for that. She did not like seeing the stains of the war on herself.

Pulling herself out of those thoughts, Helia let out a deep a sigh. Apparently the wind could not distract her thoughts today, so she had to try and do it herself. Focus on her surroundings with more effort, instead of letting her thoughts run free. The treetops came ever closer to her belly, giving her a good enough target to focus her mind on. The slender dragoness left the air current to fly a slight curve away from the settlement and towards the more uninhabited djungles. Her eyes were focused on finding a spot to land without danger of entangling her wings, so she didn't even notice the dragon that was now following her. Unlike her sister, she had never gotten the "battle sense", where she would subconsciously notice when she was being followed and now that the war was over and she had stopped fighting, she tried even harder to leave every single reflex she had gained in the fights.

Finally she found a spot that looked wide enough to allow her a safe landing and still overgrown enough so she could study it's fauna and flora. Head first she dove into the thick trees, narrowly avoiding a couple lianas she hadn't noticed before and landing not as gracefully as she had wanted. It wasn't until she touched the ground that Serilla spoke up and informed her, rather condescendingly, of the fact that she was being followed.
"I don't care." she growled at her eldest sister. This area was close enough to the new settlement, that most of it would be clean of monsters, so what did she have to fear? Already a slight feeling of remorse settled in her stomach for having growled at her sister, but she kept quiet about it. She felt so on edge today and really didn't need Seri's judgement. All she had wanted to do was study the plants and animals, why couldn't she do that in peace?
Helia left the point where she landed to go a little deeper into the brush and towards the camp again. She had disturbed the plants where she had landed and needed to find some untouched ones. "It seems like the animals are returning speedily." she remarked more to herself than to her sisters, who probably didn't care, after coming across multiple tracks of smaller animals. Nothing large enough to make good prey, but many of the smaller animals seemed to seek this place. It only made sense, since most of their predators would be in hiding or already dead through the fangs of monsters and dragons alike, so they would likely prosper in the next couple years until the natural environment found it's stability again.
She had already forgotten about her follower again.

((Apologies for the short post))


Unbeknownst to Attor, he was starting to fly a little too closely. His curiousness getting the better of him, the drake prepared his stinger in case this dragon turned to attacking. His wings, very much like an insects, were fluttering and thuming like flags violently flying through the wind. He wasn't aware with how loud his two pairs of wings were until he could barely hear a passing flock of birds chirping. It was only then Attor would take the chance to actually greet the outsider.

"Hello?" Attor called out in the distance between them. All he was simply trying to do was get a look at whatever dragon this was, one could never be sure if they were a rogue, wandering kin, or simply a stranger. He still tensed his tail in case the stranger charged at him but beyond that he was never one to attack first lest they be monster. In the past, Attor has had trouble with rogues and even LightWings though he never held it against them; trouble makers seeking chaos only he did however.

It sure would be a lot easier to go out into a field research if she didn't constantly forgot her notebooks and pens. Sometimes she wished she had invested more time into studying magic, just so that she might some day be able to conjure a self scribing scroll or something. It would make her life a whole lot easier. But there was nothing she could do about that now, Helia just had to rely on her memory. Some things would definitely get lost in there, but she found that most things returned to her at some point sooner or later, which is why she was always so distracted with other things and probably also the reason why she had already forgotten about her follower again.

Instead she was focusing on a small patch bright and almost iridescent flowers. This particular batch had a lot of brown patches, tiny flaws in their otherwise beautiful nature and a sign of a sickness she had discovered on other plants as well and was now looking into further. That was until she heard the call of a dragon, sending her into a freeze in front of the flower. The slender dragoness didn't move a muscle, staying still as to avoid her possible attacker. Seri just gave her one of her infamous I-told-you-so-looks, which didn't really help the situation. It took a couple seconds until she recognized the voice and the dragon it belonged to, quietly she stifled a sigh.
"You're awfully loud for someone following me, Attor." Luckily she wasn't watching a scared animal, that would take off at the slightest sound.

He had been one of those dragons she had been trying very hard to avoid, maybe even tried the hardest, but there wasn't really a point in trying to escape him now that he had found her, maybe he would just go away, but she knew that hope was a lost cause. Her old...master? Mentor? Whatever he had been probably wouldn't let her go so fast, she still kind of owed him some explanations, even though she didn't want to give them. Helia didn't look at the approaching dragon, rather keeping close watch of her plant.
"Please avoid stepping into the sun. I don't want you to cast a shadow." She offered instead of a warm welcome or the like.

Carefully Attor fluttered above the dragoness as she landed close to a large patch of flowers. Though she froze like a corpse when he called to her, close enough to recognize who it was. Attor used to act as this dragons tutor... to some extent. She wanted to learn an art of magic and he delivered though she left a bit later. He landing near her, a safe twenty feet away in dragon standards granting her request by not casting a shadow.

Attor contemplated of what he should say, he couldn't decide if he should be relieved, furious, joyful, or maybe all three. He searched for quite some time for the dragoness as the last thing he wanted was to lose another member. He lost so much but it looked that he didn't lose enough, and though the king grieved for another fallen comrade he still moved on for the rest of his Starlights. And though he moved on he still had sadness in his heart, but upon discovering his "fallen comrade" the new emotions surged and he was almost obliged to yell at her. But he didn't, Attor couldn't as something held him back.

"Helia... You're... alive and well I see?" Attor spoke in a low tone, just loud enough for him to be heard. His tone in question was something of serious and slow burning anger, he could have easily scolded her, but he was damned that he actually grieved for his original apprentice... whatever that was. But now he questioned Helia, careful not to scare her off nor anger her. But his anger wasn't because she was alive, it was growing because she acted so casual with his presence, the question came, "Where have you been? Do you know how long we've searched for you?"

She heard him land, the buzzing of his wings getting slower and lastly vanishing all together, but she didn't look up to see where he landed. All she knew, was that he had heeded her request not to cast a shadow. The scholar didn't really need anything else from the Starlight King, she would rather have him leave her alone with her studies, but a confrontation of some sort seemed to be inevitable. She had gotten away from him longer than she'd expected, but all good things had to end. She felt her sisters' concerned gazes on her, they were worried. Of course they knew what she was thinking and they didn't approve. One of them even said, that it wasn't like her to be this dismissive and cold. It sounded like she was being scolded. Helia just ignored them all. She was slowly getting sick of all of them telling her how she should feel, what she should do. Attor included.

She could feel his anger pulsing in the air, even though he didn't say much yet. It was like that calm of air before a storm broke loose and set her scales on edge. She tried to ignore him. Tried to just focus on the task she had come to do. Slowly she lifted one of her wings and covered part of a ray of sun, casting a small shadow but leaving enough light for the flower. Instantly the little bud turned it's head towards the rest of the beam, moving out of the shadow as if it was a living being seeking shelter. Helia smiled at this new find, until he spoke to her.
"I'm alive." she confirmed still not looking up. Why had he thought otherwise? Of course, she had left in the middle of the night during one of her missions without as much as a note or any tracks, but that didn't mean she had died, at leasttaht was what she tried to tell herself to silence the little bit of remorse in her stomach. They were the desperate tries of a stubborn child, she knew that deep in her heart, but she didn't want to be reasonable right now, for once she just wanted to be able to feel what she wanted.

She lifted her wing higher, cutting of the ray of light and plummeting the little flower into a shadow and the iridescent color began to fade to an unhealthy brown until the flower looked withered. Finally she looked up at the King, who looked so stern faced and serious, very collected, very like the Attor she knew and she shook her head. Helia instinctively knew his insides where anything but calm and collected. The slender dragoness sighed, folding her wing back and exposing the flower with sunlight again, which made her bloom, although another one of the brown spots had grown on it's stem. At least she had verified her hypothesis.

She sat up a little straighter, curling her tail around her paws, stealing herself for this conversation. "I''ve been travelling. Researching. Flying." She answered his question honestly, although she knew it wasn't what he really wanted to hear. He wasn't asking out of interest, he was blaming her, scolding her, almost like a father scolded his hatchling, when they flew too far away from the nest. "But that isn't what you really want to know, is it?"

Attor stared and waited for what seemed like an eternity. To sum everything up he felt all stemmed from stress and worry of one of his tribe members. He could already assume why Helia left though, and his stern gaze never wavered nor did his attitude or emotions. Though, many assumptions were made, the yellow Moonstone hung from his neck albeit one wouldn't tell of it's dim golden glow due to the sun: he was thinking, and really hard. Immediately Attor took one pawstep forward as of to get a friendly step out of the way, of he wanted to punish her, attack her, he would have done so... but this was no action that demanded either, nor did he even think of pouncing on the dragoness. That would be extremely wrong and defeated Attors purpose of his calm nature.

To her cold words, he gave a cold response as well regardless of the truth, "I can understand that was part of the reason you left" Attor took several steps forward until he was a wingspan away not bothering to sit, his stinger-tail lowered to the ground to show no hostility, "But I want the full truth. And you're not leaving until I get one. If you wanted to leave the Order of Starlights you only had to ask and I eventually would have relented. I'm not here to ask of your return. I'm here for a reason to fully remove your name from our tribe and scrolls entirely."

And that, there at that moment was the only time the humble and calm Venomous King have no second chances. He made it sound like he wanted an entire true answer, not simple words or a sentence. Though this grew on his heart letting go a student, letting go one of his tribe members who helped stabilize the new settlement since the beginning, Attor couldn't have this. No, there was too much he lost, "It would certainly clearly the consciounce I already have. I could make you care, but that's against what I believe. If you left because of the Way of White, the dragon who was to accompany you on your mission is dead, going after you of course. You didn't have to join, but your actions caused a death. And I cannot have that."

The slender dragoness felt the anger of her king vibrating off of her, at least he slowly seemed to lose the collected mask he was showing her. She had never liked when he had taken that face with her, Helia much more preferred to see the emotions she was dealing with or even just glimpse the worry Attor always seemed to carry with him. Even as her mentor, she had preferred for him to be more honest, more real, it made him seem more humane.

She didn't flinch as he moved towards her, didn't even ponder taking a step back. Instead she just stood her ground before the king, held his gaze while he speculated her reasons. Confused she tilted her head during his tirade. Leave the Starlights? How had he gotten that idea? She had never even thought about leaving the tribe, all she had done was leave the Way of White and return to being a normal scholar, but she didn't have much time to tell Attor that and it didn't seem like she could stop him, before he hadn't said everything, he wanted to say. So she waited. Calm, but confused, she watched him with her starlight eyes, until he told her of the death and she had to avert the gaze. Pain swept over her as she heard tehse news and stung in old wounds. Too many were lost because of her, she couldn't seem to escape that no matter how hard she tried.

"I am sorry for this loss and it pains me to know I caused another one." At her side, Hashal leant against her the way her youngest sister had always done to comfort her. It made the pain a little bit easier to bear, but added a much deeper, much more seething note to it. A note she tried desperately to ignore. "But you're ideas about me are flawed. I don't know what happened after I left or where you got those ideas from, but I didn't leave the Starlights, I never inteded to either." Her face was calm when she looked at the sovereign again, but her eyes were filled with a deep grieve. She smiled at the irony of his words and how much passion was behind him. He should know her better by now, did he ever have to make her care about anything? Wasn't it always the opposite? That she had cared way too much. Helia sighed. "No need to force me to care. I left because I do."

Attor was scarce in facial expressions, however it almost softened when Helia averted her gaze, a soft one of mourning and exhaustion, many in the tribe had wondered if the Venomous King was either losing his mind or losing faith. Truth was Attor was extremely tired, out of stamina, strength, and his health on the decline as he pushed himself over the limits. He still held that damnable scowl of a stern look as she spoke when she looked back at him, though she could have caught a glimpse of his true self before he changed back to seriousness. It took everything in Attor to hold himself and from breaking down, hell, it took all his power to even stand. If he sat, he couldn't get back up.

Hiding his emotions and exhaustion though, Attor grew confused that Helia... actually cared? What twisted sense of care would leave their tribe for some exploration? Especially in a dangerous time like this?! Kicking her from the Starlights was something above necessary, not extreme but below extreme, he had only pondered upon this for several minutes. He could feel his heart racing as a chest pain began to surge as of recent, then again, no one could tell because he didn't want anyone to worry about the king's well-being. No, it was Attors duty to worry for everyone, make sure they were well, make sure they were safe. Never once did the Sovereign check on himself, he never cared for himself, not since his hatchling, Yama, died in the initial invasion and that forever scarred him.

"Helia," Attor said not in the serious nor deep tone he produced before, but in a soft one that lost its tension. Though keeping his look almost in check but even that was losing, his body seemed to relax a little, "Please. Elaborate on what you mean. You cared so you left? Everything I did was make sure you were safe, everything we've built was to ensure our survivability was prosperous..."

Attors words were as cool as a spring night, not cold, but smooth and calm, however when he started with, "I did-," his voice began to tremble not in anger but in defeat and sadness. Not a sadness because he was trying a poor attempt at convincing her, but the sadness that spanned two long years catching up. He cared, Attor cared far too much for his little Starlights, he had a passion that was unmatched, an ideal that he saw that only he was worth dying in order for everyone else grew and prospered in the future. He gave up his gods, his faith and hope, his life, all for the Starlights. Attor never grew close to anyone in his life except for Amore, his queen, who'd he found dead just after this crisis.

Attor couldn't keep his composure though. He collapsed to a sitting position with his chest close to the ground. The Venomous King breathed hard as things for him grew dizzy and tiring, he just wanted to rest, "I... gave up everything, for you, for everyone else. Please... don't leave... don't leave like Amore, Tori, like all my friends... I beg you..." Attor said with his head down, his large insect wings half folded and trembling as he fought off the tears that inevitably came pouring.

She could see the confusion her words caused in him and even though the pain of loss surged through her body and the knowledge of having brought another death, because she hadn't been able to uphold Attor's ideals gnawed at her insides, she could see, just briefly, a glimpse of the tired, lost King behind the serious face. He took everything he had and gave it to his tribe, burning himself out and she admired him for that, but she couldn't comply to his vision. Not in the way he had plotted everything out. This knowledge came with a sense of pity and self depreciation. Sometimes she thought herself weak, not strong enough to be what Attor wanted her and everyone else in the Way of White to be, but most of the time, she knew she had made the right decision when she left, knew she had more hope now, out here and alone, than she would have had in the protected circle of the church.

He gave so much, she wondered whether he even had anything left to give and her heart went out to the lonely King, that just wanted to make sure everyone was safe and happy. She heard the break in his voice, felt the little bit of pleading behind it and it pierced the distant and calm shell she had built around herself after the invasion, after losing almost everything, just to bring forth a little bit of the dragoness she had been before. The caring and empathic one.
All of her sisters had their own qualities, strong, smart, family prone, loyal, quick of thought, but she had always been the one to care the most, the one to be the most excitable - with Hashal in a close second, but that was because the youngest sister hadn't yet lost her sense of wonder for the world -
So she went to him, when he broke down in front of her. Without sparing as much as one thought for the action, she touched his forehead with her own to take a little bit of his grieve from him.
He had lost so much, just like everyone else, just like her, he had lost those most dear to him, but instead of grieving his own loss, he poured himself into helping with everybody else's.

"I'm not leaving. I never even thought about leaving the tribe and even though you haven't found me, I was always close." She thought of her little floating island. Far enough away from the tribe, so that she would be left alone, but close enough to just be a short flight away. Slowly she laid down in front of him, her paws almost touching him, as she pulled her head away to look at the broken king. Her voice was soft, when she continued to speak, trying to explain herself and why she hadn't been able to stay at the Way of White.
"I left the Way of White because I cared too much to become what you asked of us and I knew you wouldn't understand." Helia's eyes were soft, when smiled just a tiny bit, even though her insides bled as she thougt of her reasons to go.
"You want to give hope so badly, wanted us to give hope to the Starlights but asked of us to give up on the things that gave us hope. How can we, how can you, give hope to the others when you don't have any left for yourself?" She felt her sisters nuzzling up to her, all of them coming to bear the pain they felt, seeking shelter in their family, but deep in her heart she knew they weren't really there and it broke her.
"I tried to give up on my feelings, on anger and love and grieve, tried to devote myself to the Way of White, but I can't. My grieve, my love, my anger, they all give me hope, they give me strength to go out and go on. If I gave up on them, I wouldn't have anything left." She stopped, the words catching in her throat as she battled the grieve and shame inside of her, swaying between trying to ignore the illusion of her family nuzzling up to her and cherishing it. Carefully she got up just a little bit and beckoned Attor to follow, even if it was just with his eyes. She couldn't sit and explain herself, welling in her pain. She needed to forget it, ignore it.

So she turned back to the flower she had been examining when Attor had found her and smiled at the little creature. "These flowers grow deep in the jungle but only spots with direct sunlight. At night, or when clouds hang in front of the sun, they wither to conserve energy, that way they can bloom all year around, even in the darkest winters." Helia lifted on of her wings and cast a shadow on the flower, making it wither and bloom again, when she removed her wing. "But this flower is sick. The constant change in lighting messes with its natural rhythm, the irregular shadows of flying dragons confuses it and the constant withering now takes more energy than it conserves. It'll most likely die and regrow another place." She smiled at Attor, her gloomy demonstration having a positive message he had yet to understand.
"You spend so much time trying to give everyone hope and safety, that you miss to see that they already have it. Your dragons wouldn't fly so far out into the jungles with such regularity if they didn't feel safe and they wouldn't spend so much time harvesting lumber and rebuilding a settlement, if they didn't have hope for the future. This little plant will die because your dragons are so active in their hope, that they overshadow this life." It was a small feat of distraction from her own sorrows, that she tried to ease his right now, but they all had ways of dealing with their pain, hers was ignorance.
"You spend so much time trying to force hope on everyone else, tell me, do you still know what it means to have hope for yourself?"

Though Helia understood his pain Attor could not get back up, his legs shook but he resumes his previous position as they were too weak. He listened further as tears began to subside but his facial expression told of grieving. And it left him motionless for several moments as Helias cool words spoke and were true, mostly at least. He never forced hope on anyone, he gave others time to grieve, time to sorrow for whomever but never did he push it. But this was primarily about the Way of White. This was about forcing that hope on others even though they have it... but was he wrong to have made it? He knew others felt the gods left them, but this wasn't about them, it was about Helia.

Attor payed close mind to the flower itself, understanding what the dragoness was telling him. Even though he struggled to, Attor stood finally as he regained his posure albeit sloppy. He waited till she finished before speaking, "I wasn't trying to force anything on anyone," Attor replied not in an aggrivated or trembling voice but the cool and collective one he usually had, "I made the religion to provide that extra assurance of hope, not, "You must join," but rather, "If you wish to serve another purpose, then join." Helia, if you wanted to quit, why didn't you just say so? I wouldn't have been disappointed. Not even annoyed, I would have been perfectly fine with it."

Though it was a bit of a fib, Attor would have been annoyed but hid that, the Church was following strict guidelines and not everyone was all for it. Attor knew that, he already did the math upon the religions creation. Never would he ever force his people into something they didn't like, Attor wasn't for that himself and couldn't go through with such. But Attor nodded, "I understand though what you're saying... I apologise for assuming such a thing. It's been... Shameful to say it's been long ago since I had any real hope."

She searched the expression of her kin, but couldn't find much in it anymore. His small outbreak seemed to have subsided, but the picture of him breaking down in front of her left quite the impression on her. Attor was hurting, maybe more than anyone else in this tribe, but he was so adept at hiding it and masking it, that even she couldn't compare to it. In some aspect, though, they were very much alike. They both just pushed away their pain.

"I know you did, but asking members to give up on the emotions that drive them? I'm not sure if they can do that, I know I couldn't." In the beginning her sisters had pushed her to join the Way of White as a way of finding a new purpose, new hope and a way to a life without her sisters, she had joined for everything Attor had promised, even though she had never worshipped any gods for their creations. She worshipped the creation itself, something that had felt close enough to join. Even the position as a seeker had seemed perfect for her and her bubbly ways of research. But the longer she had been with them, the more Attor himself had taught her about his vision, the more she had felt herself shy away. She wanted to fulfill all of the expectations, his and her sisters', become Attor's first seeker, but she just hadn't been able to. How could she have given up on her sisters? Get over her loss when she was still pushing it away, pretending they had never died. And when the pressure had been too much, she had left. During the night, hiding behind her ability she just fled as far as she could.

She silently ignored the question why she hadn't said anything. Partly because she was embarrassed to say, that she couldn't let go and that it would have prevented more losses if she had just spoken to Attor, but also because she didn't want to tell him about her sisters, didn't want to open that wound again. They had all joined to leave their pasts behind and it was only natural, that none of them had spoken of what had happened to them during the invasion.
She only knew of Attors losses, because as king he and his family stood in the spotlight. He probably didn't even know, that she had joined the fights together with her sisters.

"Maybe it is time for you to find some hope, before giving it all to us." she said softly, before raising her gaze towards he skies. The sun had gone on her path and was now slowly approaching one of the horizons. Not cose enough to call it dusk or even evening, but definitely afternoon, the best time to have a good cup of tea, so she looked back at Attor and ruffled her wings. "Come, have some tea with us. That way you'll know where to find me in the future." It didn't even appear to her, that she had used 'us' instead of 'me'.

Attor regained his full composure, still listening to Helia with careful ears, taking everything into consideration instead of arguing from another point. They were both stubborn, and that was to be expected. It has been years since he's had a heart to heart with anyone, or anyone to him, and it in the end he felt exhaustion from it all. He wasn't one for letting his emotions get the best of him, even when things got really hairy he still remained ever so vigilant... in truth, he did it all out of fear though he was no coward. Attor, at best, was the survivors saviour if one was to, "High-ball," the king. Low balling him would mean he simply failed and allowed others to help him. The median was Attor was weakened to the point he still navigated, pushed through the pain, and led his people to a new home while letting the survivors do their part freely. The ones he truly had to thank for that was Hanual and Helia.

And though things were bumpy in the beginning, well, hill sized bumps, the Starlights overcame all thanks to Attors quick thinking, creativity, and his sheer stubbornness. And everyone, not just him, had played their part in the Starlights survival. Maybe hope wasn't all lost? Attor certainly hadn't felt it since the very beginning of this mess when he needed it most, but slowly he became depraved of it and all happiness. This didn't restore anything but it helped sooth the pain he had. As soon as Helia took flight she suggested to Attor they should have some tea, a luxury he couldn't necessarily skip- Did she say us?

The king took flight as well although it was few minutes before he could actually muster the strength to do so. He was weak, no doubt clearly physically depraved of energy granted he still put effort into it. And effort was rewarded when Attor was now midair, he still dragged behind the taller dragoness but no doubt he kept up... at a snails pace.

She was already behind the tree line soaring through the air, when she noticed Attor was still missing. It took a couple more seconds until she spotted his form breaking through the tree tops and following her at a much slower pace. He looked so tired and fragile, not at all like she remembered him. This whole situation had to take a huge toll on him and his strength, not to mention his loss and him giving himself no time to grieve whatsoever. She worried for him, a funny feeling after the invasion. It had been a while since she had worried for someone last.

"Why did we invite him again?" Kyrith asked at her side and looked at the king with a distasteful look. "I never liked him." Helia took a good look at her sisters pursed lips and the distateful look in her eyes and shook her head. Slowly she began climbing higher, not too fast so Attor didn't lose sight of her. Kyrith had always been the most arrogant of them all, but none of them could deny her almost psychic sense for others. Many times her judgement seemed rash, but it was correct. With Attor however Helia didn't know what she based this on. "Because you all wanted me to start caring again, to find a new purpose. So here I am caring for the one dragon that probably needs it the most." Even if it was just a cup of tea. Everyone except Kyrith nodded, she just snorted and flew ahead. "Don't mind her," Said Seri at her side, "you know how she is." Helia nodded her thanks to her eldest sister, glancing back at the slower dragon. He looked so fragile right now, maybe she should make him stay, rest for a bit.

The slender dragoness landed on the island she had made her home and already went inside the small house she had fabricated between two large stone pillars judding out of the mountain on this island. It was a humble home and not yet fully finished in places, but it was enough for her right now. It would take time to mold it to her liking and needs, but for right now she was contempt. She set a kettle on a stove, adjusting a little looking glass close to her window to focus the sun right onto the kettle instead of using her own beam. She had found, that she couldn't control her own beam enough to make a good tea and since she couldn't just light a fire, she had reverted to using focused sunlight. While gathering the herbs for her tea, her gaze lingered on a little box with dried seeds. Just a little bit of that poppy mixed with lemon balm would certainly make him sleep. No. Helia forced herself away from that and towards the cups. She couldn't just slip him some sleeping potion without his consent. That wasn't right, even if he needed it. She would just have to wait and convince him to rest.

With his vision starting to grow hazy Attor still pushed on, barely keeping sight on Helia. By Lords above and below, Attor was pushing himself beyond the exhaustion he felt as the last of his strength was being sapped away by every few feet he traveled. Through this effort many memories of old played in his mind and for a second, as he fluttered now growing quickly to one of many floating islands, he thought he saw what appeared to be a cave... no, it was a cave! The same one Helia must have flew off to which means his now fast flight was almost over. By Lords, above and below, he can finally find some comfort, some form of rest. Insomnia was a pain in the rear, sleep was usually a thing of the past and the pain in his chest usually kept him up. Attor was unsure whether or not it was a simple weakness of his system or possibly an underlying disease he was dealing with, quite possibly so much strain on his body affected his heart.

By the time he reached the entrance of the cave the Sovereign collapsed on it, struggling to get back up with success, he slowly and carefully walked into the domain of Helia. His vision cleared as his heavy breathing subsided but looked about the housing. Clearly, it was yet to be finished but appeared rustic. He looked until the slender dragoness caught his attention and the smell of tea. He weighed his options but Attor couldn't risk crashing and going unconscious, not in the wild. He then spoke, "I... I thank you for having me, Helia. If you do not mind it... I would like to stay here for the night. I'm too weak to actually fly all the way back to the settlement... it was difficult enough getting here."

The water was slowly starting to boil, the kettle whistling away as she dropped a few dried herbs into the water and set a few cups on the one small table that wasn't covered in scrolls and notebooks. She wasn't the most organized or tidy dragon, and since her mind tended to jump back and forth between different topics she always had to have something to write, or even better the matching research papers, close by so that she could scribble down her thoughts. In between the many papers and shelves full of books, glasses and boxes, were several small sleeping spaces and a walkway up to higher levels. At one point she wanted to move her sleeping place further up the house, to be even closer to the sky, but for now she content with her little situation here.

The kettle started to fill the room with the pleasant smell of freshly done tea, as she heard someone collaps at the door. Helia could catch a glimpse of the Sovereign lying at her doorstep, fighting to get up, before he managed to get his feet back under him an walk inside. Again her mind went back to the jar full of poppy seeds and she had to shake her head.
With her tail she took the kettle off the stove and poured them both some tea, all the while adjusting the little looking glass so as to not burn a hole into her house.
She nodded with an almost motherly smile. "It would be my pleasure to have you." she welcomed him into her home, a little relieved about his decision to stay, then she sat down, curling her tail around her and watching the sovereign with a skeptical eye. "When was the last time you slept?" she asked him carefully.

"Your house is unfinished..." Attor said lazily with clear signs of drowsiness, trying to keep himself up until plopping across from Helia, he almost answered her question , "I used to build my homes, two story home was the first made up of stone from a nearby abandoned fortress. My wife, Tori, she was NightWing but could breath fire for a long period of time, so we worked out the links, smoothed the house and formed it until it was a large and beautiful place to live. My second home was made of sandstone when I was the local apothecary. Already built, but I reinforced it as the building was falling apart, carefully I took my time replacing every stone, crack, wood, anything and even had plants growing in there. I even had moss and vines growing on the inside to compliment the shop part of it."

Attor then paused almost as in thought and realized the dragoness asked a question, "Well... if you want to talk about a, "well rest," oh... let's see... several months... yes, it's been about three months since I actually slept for a night. Nowadays I sleep for two to four hours a day. Just too much to do lately. If I still had my apothecary set, I guarantee I would have had Poppy Seed in there too." Attor stated, taking the tea carefully with his tail, though shaking and getting the hit liquid on him, he was careful to drink from the dish and slowly set it back to the table it was on.

(Apologies for possible spelling errors, I'm typing from my phone)

Patiently shr sat at the table, keepinga careful eye on the sovereign, who seemed to grow more and more drowsy, to the point where he obviously hadn't noticed her question yet. She didn't stop him in his story though. Never had she heard of his life before becoming a sovereign, she didn't even know much about him now, she had barely known anything about his latest mate, Amore, even though she had been studying under him, spending most of her time with Attor. They had all been distant, quiet about their pasts and ready to leave them behind.

Right now she wasn't sure if he even knew whether he was talking or not, but she let him, smiling softly while he told her of his homes. "They both sound lovely." She said when he stopped speaking. She thought about telling him about her childhood home and the plans she had for this, but decided not to. Right now she was here to listen to whatever he wanted to tell her. Her tail slid over the wooden floors and reached for the container ontop a shelf, throwing down multiple boxes in the process, making her flinch at the sound and her clumsiness, but eventually she set down the container with an audible rattle from the inside. Helia pushed the poppy seeds towards Attor, nodding to the box. "Take them, if you want, you can stay here as long as you want or need." The dragoness was tempted to tell him about herown concerns for him and the brief thought of slipping the seeds into his tea but stayed quiet. All she wanted to offer him right now was much needed shelter and the care he obviously needed. The fact that he couldm't hold the cup of tea without shaking was a testimony to his condition and let her furrow her brow in concern.
She took a sip of her own tea. "Tell me about Tori." She asked softly, hoping to make him loose himself in thoughts and memories again, helping him slip into a world of sleep and also learning more about the dragoness he had asked her not to be.

Unaware of the crashing of boxes and the poppy seeds in front of him, Attor seemed almost in a trance as he continued, "They were beautiful... My first home was destroyed by a group of rogues, I fled when Nama was but an egg, by then Tori was... already gone. It was weeks until I found the SkyWings and although I looked different from them I offered my services as a Healer. They had many of those already but accepted me for my skills in potion brewing, healing the wounds and illnesses normal Healers. My venom played a very important role as extracting it can be extremely dangerous, but did you know I have two different forms of it? Under my scales secretes a less than lethal version, poison or a toxin, though different it can be improved to be fatal or it can be reversed to serve well for rashes, allergies, illnesses, and even help improve the immune system of dragons. Mind you, it's only when I'm in danger that I willingly release it, but there have been times when it was used for minor purposes however it's primary purpose was to effect the foe in time shutting down the nervous system then the heart. My primary weapon though, Blood Scald Venom, is much harsher and meant to be far more lethal. To boot, it spreads much faster than the previous toxin, attacking the nerves and quickly spreading through the bloodstream and immune system, it can cause inflammation to the extreme and create the feeling that your very blood is boiling inside you which spreads throughout the entire body. If you were to extract that, reverse it into an elixer, it would accelerate the healing process and neutralize even the extreme of venoms..."

Attor again trailed off before shaking his head. He realized he was getting off topic but in his defense he rarely ever spoke about his life. When the subject about potion brewing and herbology came up Attor could go on for hours about it but was usually mindful of others. He never truly spoke of his past, maybe boys and pieces of him and Amore but that was more of a friendship than being mates. With a sigh, Attor continued until seeing the Poppy Seeds, "Ah! When did this get here?"

The drake then opened the jar of seeds and poured more than what was necessary in his tea. Shutting the lid, Attor drank the tea with much vigor then gave a strong nod to Helia, "Thank you, this will certainly help a lot."

It was then Helia asked about Tori, and Attor had froze in thought. Amore was a beautiful dragon, his second mate had a good nature but, "Tori... Oh, by Shardas, I don't think there was ever a description that could describe such beauty. I could write a thousand pages and thousands more, she was as beautiful inside as she was outside... if you'd saw the painting I made of her you would understand. I was never good with females, but we merely started off as friends when her tribe room me in. A group of NightWing outcasts, a very specific species of dragon that roamed the wilds. They took me in as they saw my usefulness and we both happened to be in the same hunting pack. She was... she was sweet, always so curious and carefree with a wild side. We eventually left after a few years, took off on our journey and saw the world together. I never made her feel alone, we trusted in each others skill and ability, I always made feel good about herself told Tori how beautiful she was. And every time, no matter how bad my mood was, anytime I saw her, every time she would snuggle up to me, whisper in that sultry tone, even every time she turned a corner in my direction I always get shivers across my spine. There was... something about her, whether it was kinship, friendship, or so forth we rarely argued. There's much more, but I shouldn't go on. It wasn't until she died of an aggressive cancer that she left behind Nama, a spitting image of Tori in every way. She would have been three by now, you know. When I became king I swore to protect my little girl, I forced myself to become unstoppable and forced the SkyWing and LightWing tribes to merge. I did everything in my power to make the world, society, a better place for my Hatchling so she'd know a happy life without the political and racial struggles of two people. When I returned to get Nama from the palace the... entire structure was collapsed. My subordinates tried to drag me away but I still rushed into where her room would have been. I found..."

Attor stopped immediately as he felt his emotions surged but swallowed them, forcing a fake smile, "No father should have to bury his daughter and wife."

"You should remember that." Serilla whispered into her ear from the side when Attor spoke about his venom and its workings. Helia knew her sister just meant well, just wanted her to be able to protect herself, but this part of Serilla was something Helia was deeply disturbed and disgusted by. She did not want to remember the way someone's weapons worked, just so she knew how to use them against her opponent or any other being for that matter. She did not want to be confronted by the possibility of having to fight again. The scars on her body still itched, where they weren't yet covered in the feather like scales. Those scales still grew in bunches, leaving her looking like a halfly plucked chicken. They were a disdainful reminder of what she had left behind and never wanted to see again. So even though her sister meant well, Helia's face turned into a scowl, before she quickly recovered her soft look. Of course it was good to know, but she didn't understand much of herbs and elixirs. She wasn't a healer, neither did she study herbs. She sometimes looked at plants, yes, but more at how they migrated and less at what they did, so she didn't really understand the healing purposes of his venom either, but she nodded along, making a mental note to write that down, instead of the military use.

With a mixture of slight horror and fascination she watched Attor pour more of the poppy seeds into his tea than was necessary. With that amount even she could tell that it was too much, but before she could say anything he had already downed the whole cup. Helia could only watch with wide eyes and tried to secretly calculate how many days that would put him out, but failed.

All she could do for him now was listen to what he had to say. She could feel the love he felt for Tori just sitting across from him and it made her smile. The way he talked about her, described her and still grieved her and his hatchling was something to be admired and envied. She hadn't seen such devotion between to dragons since her mother and father had passed away. Not even Kyrith and her mate could reach this level of adoration for each other. Helia could only imagine his loss and the wounds it must have caused. "I'm sorry for your loss." she said quietly, feeling a little helpless in this situation. She wanted to help him but knew from her own experience, that it was a pain she couldn't help with, maybe even one that would never subside. "You seemed to have loved her very much. Did you love Amore like that?"

Attor was more aware of Helia than she thought. Randomly he noticed her expressions as he spoke. She had disdain toward his talk of venom but she shouldn't have any, she shouldn't have to worry about Attor ever attacking her but this disturbed him internally. She she a pacifist? And if so, how would it benefit her? Those questions he left untouched and didn't bother to question them. Though it did amuse quite a bit, he never shown it.

And the question of Amore was asked. It took a few minutes of silence for him to answer but there was hesitance, "Amore... I loved her, yes. But that love didn't take flourish like Tori, erm... allow me to explain," Lazily, Attor turned to Helia fully to face her better, though he was starting to become drowsy from the effects of the Seeds especially with how much he downed, "Amore wasn't difficult getting along with, we happened to run into each other by some chance. When we spoke about random subjects at that moment she hadn't the clue that I was the new king, no one but my Honor Guard knew what I looked like or what my name was. At the time, I went by, "The Venomous King," as people starting me, "a mysterious figure." I wanted to poke around the SkyWing kingdom into certain places, around certain dragons who were afraid of the Royal Blue... the slums practically. I learned much and without gaining any attention from the public I sent my best workers to help those dragons. I wasn't aware that Amore lived there, so she was quite surprised during one of our get togethers that this mysterious king fixed up their streets and buildings. I had to agree that this mystery king was quite benevolent."

Though it seemed petty or even childish to lead Amore on, Attor was trying to get to know her not as a subject but as an equal. That much was made clear if Helia had the common sense. To that matter, Attor continued, "I began to grow more affectionate toward our friendship, after about five months we became extremely close to the point we were... experimenting. It was right after that my appearance was revealed and my name was known. Amores expression was priceless when she found out I was the King all along, and she didn't know how to take it. I explained to her that I didn't want others judging me by appearance, I didn't want my own tribe to create conspiracies against me, so everything from my looks to my name, even my actions were done by the, "Mystery King."

We got together a few more times but they were far and between, she always talked about how she wanted to help the smaller dragons, help the public and so I extended a wing to Amore. I asked her to marry me, and though she took a few days to think it through she accepted it. But... it became distant. I always had time for her, I even said that she didn't have to be my "wife" and that we could still be friends. Amore just, well, I don't know where I went wrong in our relationship. I said I wouldn't even have a problem if she didn't want to accept that role, that I'd carry the political and heavy lifting while she accomplished her goals for the better. She grew extremely distant, always avoided me and when we got the chance to get together she acted like a completely different dragon. I never got the sense she was cheating on me but she seemed so happy when I wasn't around. I guess she didn't like Royalty. But in the end it all amounted to me actually trying to treat her special, and I'm not certain if that was a reason that drove her away. And in the end, she fled the entire tribe as a whole, never to be seen again. I'm not even sure she's dead but for three whole years... well, I don't want to touch upon that."

It was clear through Attors account that he was honest with no farce details. From his relationship with Tori he tried making it work with Amore. To his confusion she wanted to be a good friend when he wasn't a king to her, yet he made it abundantly clear that Amore didn't have to be "Queen," and it was also clear Attor didn't change his views on his second mate at all. He still cherished her from what it seem and when she took on the role that she didn't have to even do much, but she completely changed after that. In that sense, it was an attempt to love another the same as his first but that mate wouldn't let it happen.

For the first time Helia realized how sheltered her life had been up to the point of the invasion. Of course that didn't make her pain and loss any less valid, but it opened up a new perspective to her, mostly regarding Attor. She knew how he had always pushed himself, overloaded himself and tried to do everything in his power to help the starlights even if it meant breaking himself. She had seen him barely being present during her lessons with the Way of White and she had always been able to see right through his mask and view the tired soul behind it, but these stories, his past, they changed the way she looked at Attor.
Helia had always thought of him as a hopeful idealist, a little bit like herself, but had scoffed at his almost obsessive need to make them all feel hope and bring them safety. She had felt it as pressure and had naturally blamed Attor for forcing his wishes on them. All of that hadn't changed but now she saw why he did all this, why he was so intense and vigilant in his doing. He had said it himself: He had the power to make this world a place his hatchling could have been safe and happy in and he was certainly trying to achieve it. Yet his tendency to never stop seemed like it stemmed from more than just that, by now Helia asked herself if he was trying to make up for all the things he blamed himself for. Was he trying to make the Starlights a better place to rewin Amore's heart? She wondered what had happened to the dragoness.

With sad eyes she watched the scarred dragon in front of her who had endured so much more than anyone should suffer and wished to extent a paw to him, help him so that for once it wasn't him who had to carry all the weight of the world on his shoulders. For now she would let him stay and watch over him while he slept.

As Attor finished he swallowed any guilt, any remorse or memories to avoid falling into a short depression... Lords forbid he didn't need it, not even now. As he grew more weary and he struggled to keep up with his own ramblings Attor asked, "What about you Helia? Tell me about yourself. Now's the perfect time, and we have plenty time." Though he didn't know whether she was too keen on sharing that information. Though it would be a respectful trade, his history for hers, he respected if she didn't want to share. Granted he'd like to hear what she has to say if she does.

The Sovereign caught himself almost dozing off, the Poppy Seeds and his own exhaustion doing a number on his mind and body. And that's when his chest started to hurt. For months it was small pains but eventually grew into coughing fits and later worse pains. Every once in a while, more frequently he began to cough our blood, starting off as specs but leading to clots. In his years running an apothecary, potion brewing and healing dragons Attor had never seen anything like it; nor did he even know how to cure it. The cause could have been the years of stress, possibly something out of alignment in his chest like an inner tear that never healed, could have been an illness but when nothing worked he double timed his efforts into building up the Starlights once more.

Though ignored, Attor could barely feel the aches he had. And he waited for Helia to speak clearly looking away as he began to wince once the pain grew. Swallowing again, the pain faded, and Attor didn't want to raise any suspicion from the dragoness.