Artemise, Goddess of Ice and Snow

^^^The credits of the awesome art goes to Neru!^^^

Personal Info
Name: Artemise
Alias: Goddess of Ice and Snow, Arty, Arte, Artery
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Sexuality: Heterosexual
Personality: Artemise tends to act recklessly and on impulse, despite all the responsibilities of being a Semi-Goddess heaped on her. She doesn't really strategise, preferring to just charge into a situation like a bull and "wing it". Sometimes she succeeds, but the majority of her attempts to deal with situations by "winging it" are mostly failures. Though she is confident of herself when she does things, she loses all confidence and becomes a pessimist when she fails; she will become the polar opposite of her usual self: a rather depressing dragon to be around, but her so-called "mini-depression" is temporary and lasts for a really short while. Soon, she will be back to normal, and running off to "wing" other situations. One thing that doesn't get into her head is that she needs to plan.

Despite her tendency to rush into things in a headstrong manner, she is actually a friendly, enthusiastic dragoness who seems to be forever filled with positive energy. She welcomes new ideas different from her own, and won't get all snarky and sarcastic just because she wants to have her way. Unafraid to state her opinion, she speaks with the confidence one will get from years of fearlessly chatting up anyone they see, and doesn't fear negative comments from anybody. This is because she had been so rudely remarked about when she was younger that insults seem to bounce off her. Unlike most IceWings, who are cool, calm and composed, she has an extremely hot temper that marks her out as different, even unique. Even the smallest of things can trigger her annoyance, but her temper can die down as quickly as it flares. She doesn't forgive easily, and will hold grudges, but it actually depends on how badly she has been offended. She is rather vengeful as well, and will never forget a grudge until revenge has been taken.

She has a surprisingly strong sense of justice, too. She will stand up for what she believes is right, even if she's going to get punished for it. She feels that as long as she's standing up for the right thing, any punishment she receives is okay, because it's "worth it". Tending to be rather defiant as well, she will purposely go against someone's orders if she dislikes them, but she'll never do that to Virgo. Ever.

Artemise's emotions are sometimes like an unpredictable storm, though. One moment she can be happy, and the other moment she can be furiously shouting at someone else. Some call her a bipolar; others call her a crazy idiot. However, her sudden shift of moods only happens sometimes, usually when she's feeling intense emotions. Also an impatient dragoness, she can't stand slow progress or ANYTHING related to slowness.

Although she seems to be rather happy, she can be extremely sarcastic if she wants to. Not surprising, actually. She's sarcastic to snobbish dragons, elders who demand respect...generally to every dragon she dislikes. Artemise, however, can act immature and even childish when she's irritated, but it's usually when she's feeling sulky after being told off.

Unfortunately, Artemise also has a darker side to her. Witnessing her parents' deaths at a young age was a traumatic experience for her, and she developed a thirst for blood; it can't exactly be counted as a second personality, but it's more of a voice in her head that tempts her to cause bloodshed. The voice is the source of Artemise's eagerness to shed blood, which she tries to hide; though easily ignored, the voice has a way to tempt her into violence.

Interests:

• Aerial combat. Unnecessary violence she will try to avoid, but she does like the thrill of battle, something that is unmatched by any other type of thrill she feels. Combat, for her, is the best way to forget all negative thoughts. Whenever she's in a bad or depressed mood, she intentionally gets into fights, just to push all thoughts of negativity away. Artemise specialises in aerial combat, mainly because she likes the sky more than the ground. She feels that she has the freedom to do anything in the sky, whereas on the ground, she feels that her movements are "limited". She can't perform aerial maneuvers on the ground, can she? She can't exactly do loop-de-loops to confuse her opponent either. Besides that, the moment she makes a wrong move, she'll fall and immediately feel the impact of her body hitting the ground. Compared to the sky, where one has a chance to right themselves if they fall, fighting on the ground isn't exactly tempting to her. That's why she chose to specialise in aerial combat instead.
  
  
• Art. Compared to words, Artemise expresses herself better with art. She draws and paints well, though they are the only areas in art she specialises in. Her paintings are often filled with emotion, for she literally "pours" how she is feeling during painting into her artwork, by using colours to express her mood. One can also tell how she's feeling by looking at what she has painted. Sometimes it's just an object, like a random box, or sometimes it's a scene. By looking at a painting of a dark cave, one can tell that she's feeling depressed. By looking at painting of a dragon with blood leaking from his neck, one can tell that she's extremely angry and is feeling pretty violent. Sometimes, she may even just splatter colour onto her canvas, not painting anything in particular, and it's obvious that her mind's in a state of chaos. Artemise likes art not only because she can express herself better, it's also because of the way how a beautiful piece of art can be made by everyday objects, like some stones. It fascinates her how many grey and black stones placed together can portray a scene of, say, a cave.
  
  
• Exploring. Since she's only 25, she doesn't know much, and she explores not only to satisfy her curiousity, but also to gain more knowledge. She is one who is always eager to learn, but she prefers to experience and discover things by herself, not being taught. So she is often wandering off to find out new things for herself. Sometimes, if she's lucky enough, she comes across a piece of valuable information and she'll report it to her Queen, Virgo. Her inquisitive nature often leads her to trouble, though, as she tends to unintentionally wander into other territory while exploring, and there was one rather unpleasant experience where she insulted the NightWing Leader and got thrown into jail.
  
  
• Reading. Stories are written by different dragons, who have different opinions, point of views, and imaginations. It is interesting for Artemise to discover new characters, new personalities, and what she loves most: new worlds. Different imaginations means that there are fascinating worlds that authors bring into life in a book, or a scroll; she loves to read about them. She is often found in the library, reading something. Artemise likes the way how one can learn just by sitting down somewhere and reading, without having to move one's bum to experience it for oneself.
  
  
• Flying. One can travel somewhere without having to move too much; for example, take a dragoness with a strong wind blowing her towards her destination. All she has to do is to flap her wings every now and then, right? Then, after a while, lo and behold! She is at her destination! (This is Artemise's opinion xD) Artemise also likes the way how she can get an impressive view from the sky, and how she feels free in it, with the ability to perform some complicated aerial maneuver to impress, or do some loop-de-loops just for the fun of it.
  
  Dislikes:
  
  
  
  • Rude/Arrogant/Selfish dragons/Show-offs. She has almost zero tolerance for these types of dragons; chuck her in a room with one and the other dragon will definitely end up in a bad state. Boasting isn't something she can put up with very well. Rude or arrogant dragons just trigger extreme annoyance, and selfish dragons makes her feel like punching them hard.
    
    
  • Damp places. She is fine with water, but dampness she's not fine with. Dampness makes her feel strangely wet, although there's no water on her, and she absolutely loathes the feeling.  
    
    
  • Worms, slugs, leeches. She finds them unpredictable and they make her feel all squirmy. She'll do anything to avoid going close to them; they are one of the reasons why she avoids places with those disgusting things.
    
    
  • Dragons who just have to annoy or anger her. Why do they have to do it? If they're annoyed, then be annoyed! That doesn't mean that they can spread their annoyance to others. She considers these types of dragons selfish, and as stated before, she can't put up with selfish dragons.
    
    
  • Conflicts. She often fears that relationships will be destroyed due to conflicts, and she doesn't wish for that. She wants everything to be peaceful.
    
  
  Fears:
  
  
  
  • NightWings. Though she doesn't try to show it, she has a secret fear of them. Despite the fact that they are often tens of feet shorter than her, she finds them mysterious. intimidating, and (somehow) unpredictable. She never feels at ease around a NightWing, constantly having the feeling that the NightWing's going to give her a stab in the back at any time.
    
    
  • Disappointing Virgo/letting Virgo down. Artemise is extremely loyal to Virgo, and will do anything Virgo orders, and disappointing her Queen is not an option for her. The reason why Artemise fears letting Virgo down is because she dreads the look of disappointment and sadness that Virgo will give her, and she hopes to never, ever get that look directed at her.
    
  
  
  General Appearance
  Height: 110 feet
  Scales: Diamond/rhombus shaped, with smooth edges. Artemise's scales are a shade lighter than the blue colour in the sky. However, her scales are not exactly visible, for some reason that even Artemise doesn't understand, and those who don't take a close look at her will mistake her as a non-scaled dragon, which is wrong.
  
• Eyes: Midnight Blue.
  Appearance: Set into Artemise's elegant face are beautifully shaped eyes, which are clear, intelligent orbs with a beautiful midnight hue. One can see life and joy dancing in her eyes if they look closely, marking her liveliness. Placed above each of her eyes is an eye ridge, which acts like an eyebrow. The eye ridge, unlike the curling pattern and her eyes, is white in colour, with decorative lines running vertically down it. Another facial feature of hers is a special, curling pattern which decorates both sides of her face. The patterns are perfectly identical, and they are of the same colour of her eyes: a deep midnight blue. The pattern not only gives her eyes a thick lining, making her eyes appear wider and clearer, but starts with a swirl a few centimetres away from her nose, and ends by branching into two lines. One line will go towards the small, tiny area between the base of her horn and the top part of her ear, where it will suddenly curl down and vanish; the other line is shorter, and ends a few centimetres away from the base of her ruff.
  
  Protruding from the back of her head is a set of two horns, with an ear covering some of each horn's base. Both are, similar to her eye ridges, white in colour. They are straight, but they curve upwards slightly at the tips. Below each horn is a ruff. The ruff, with some of its base covered by her ear, are formed by four thin spikes, each coloured with a midnight blue similar to her eyes' and curling patterns'. Between each of the spikes, there is an icy blue membrane, which is soft and velvety and unfortunately easy to pierce through. There are also some spikes that start below the last, and bottommost, spike of her ruff, and they line her neck, body, and tail, and eventually ends somewhere in the middle of her tail. Again, it has the same shade of midnight blue as her eyes, ruff, etc. The spikes can flare and stand straight to form a line of long, stiff spikes, or semi-flare, which is to say, her spikes can be neither standing stiffly upright nor laying flat against each other. They can also lay flat against each other. Her spikes are usually in the semi-flare position (refer to picture), and they are rarely seen standing straight up.
  
  There is another pattern decorating the left side of her neck. It is shaped like some kind of lightning, and it starts at the bottom of her jaw and ends right next to her left shoulder. From the picture at the very top of the app, one can hopefully guess which part of "next to her left shoulder" the lightning pattern ends at. Once again, it has the same hue of midnight blue, like her eyes, ruff, etc.
  
  Artemise's body is slim and catlike, with a length of 220 feet. She is also very flexible, and is able to bend her body with more ease compared to the average dragon's. Add that to her silent tread, and you get an oversized, wrongly coloured cat with wings. Her wings are like the larger version of her ruff, with a wingspan of 225 feet. Her legs are long and graceful, similar to a dancer's. Blue at the top, it eventually darkens to midnight blue at her paws, giving them her paws the appearance of having socks on. And lastly, her tail. Her tail is rather long, and whiplike, with spikes decorating its top. The longer ones are at the back, and they become shorter and shorter as they near the tip of her tail. They are exactly like the spikes lining her back, with the same colouring and ability to flare or lay flat against each other, which will make a useful, pointy spear.
  
  Tribe Information and Status
  Tribe: IceWings
  Inheritance: 100% Pure-blooded IceWing
  Rank: IceWing Semi-Goddess/Goddess of Ice and Snow
  Family: All...dead... ;-;
  Mate: Zaroc, Royal Advisor <3
  Hatchlings: None, for the time being, but soon
  
  Skills and Abilities
  Strengths:
  
  
  
  • Aerial combat. With the voice in her head guiding her and years of practice, aerial combat has become natural to her; dodging and striking are like second nature. Besides, with the ability to partly control the weather, she has a small advantage over the opponent; she has trained herself to fight in such weather conditions, and combined with the weather hindering the opponent (hopefully), she has a higher chance of winning.
    
    
  • Good memory. Memorising is nothing to her, and she can easily do it without breaking a sweat. She can remember things very clearly as if it had just happened to her a few seconds ago, and once she has made a mental note, she will never forget it unless she's under pressure, or has many things on her mind.
    
    
  • A will of iron. Once she's set her mind to something, she will work towards it, stubbornly persevering despite any difficulties that may come her way.
    
    
  • A strong instinct for survival. With both her parents dead, she had to grow up by herself, and it wasn't easy; while other hatchlings her age led an easy life with parents to raise them and provide love, shelter and guidance, she led a difficult one, and grew up alone. It was years before she finally decided to join the IceWings; before that, she had to self-learn a lot of things through harsh experience, and living alone helped her develop a strong instinct for survival, thus enabling her to live through most situations and live to tell the tale.
    
  
  
  Special Abilities:
  
  
• Control of Cold Weather
  Artemise can control the weather, but only partly. She has the ability to change the current weather by bringing forth blizzards, snowstorms, light/heavy snow, or even hailstorms, but never wind, as it's not her element. In order to summon what she wants, she has to focus her attention on a mental image of whatever she's trying to call forth. It takes 10 seconds if she's concentrating hard enough; if only half of her is concentrating, it will take 15 seconds; 20 seconds when she has only one third of her focused on the mental image, and so on. However, 1 minute is her maximum. Either the snow is summoned within 1 minute, or it's not summoned at all. The snow she summons can have its circumference increased or reduced, but its maximum length is 400 feet, and no more.
  
  Once the snow is summoned, she can make it rage harder or die out with just a simple command of her mind directed at the snow; it requires no concentration. She can focus the snow on anywhere she likes (e.g making the snow stronger on her...say, left side). Besides focusing the snow on anywhere she likes, even at somewhere that's not within her vision (as long as she has an image of it it's fine), she can also make a "hole" in the falling snow. The "hole" is basically an empty space in the air where snow will not fall; it's like having an orb around herself that deflects snow away from her. The maximum time the snow can last is 5 posts; it will be another 2 posts before she can call upon snow again. However, she can alter the weather ONLY when she is in a cold place.
  
  
• Conjuring
  Artemise can also conjure up stuff related to snow, such as:
  
  ~Ice Armour
  »The ice armour is exactly like the normal armour, with the same resistance as the normal armour against elemental attacks and physical attacks, but it is cold, providing the IceWing wearer with more comfort. She can conjure up any shape and size of the ice armour, with any type of designs she wants.
  ~Mini ice sculpture
  ~An ice shard
  ~An ice sword
  »The ice sword she conjures is the exact same thing as a normal sword, but only with cold radiating off it, like the ice armour she conjures. Like the ice armour, Artemise can conjure up ice swords of any shapes, sizes and designs.
  ~Ice daggers/knives
  
  In order to conjure up something, Artemise has to picture the thing she wants to conjure up, and then focus on bringing it into existence. If she succeeds, the object will materialise in front of her, at eye level, and drop to the ground. If she fails, nothing happens. Conjuring, unlike bringing forth snow and others, doesn't require too much effort.
  
  She can also conjure up snow leopards. But in the case of the snow leopards, she can't just picture it in her mind. She has to carry out a series of steps. First, she has to draw the snow leopards on the ground/any solid surface. Next, she will have to determine the skill of the leopard (if she wants to), by letting snowflake(s) touch a certain part of the snow leopard's body. (Note that the snowflake that is used to determine the skill must be untouched by dragon paws.) Example, if snowflakes were to land on all four of the snow leopard's paws, the snow leopard would be able to run quickly. A normal snow leopard will run at a maximum speed of 55MPH, but one with snowflakes on their paws will run at a speed of 50-70MPH, depending on a few things:
  
  -The amount of energy it still has. If the snow leopard has been running for quite a while, of course it will be running at a slower speed.
  -The wind, and where it's blowing. If the wind is blowing against the snow leopard, it will be slowed, but if the wind is blowing in the direction the snow leopard is heading, it will have a little boost and run slightly faster.
  -What it's carrying. If the snow leopard is carrying something light, its speed will not be affected, but if it's something heavy, it will run slower.
  -Wounds. If it has suffered quite a lot of wounds, it would be weak and run slower.
  
  If Artemise doesn't want the snow leopard to have any particular skill, she can just jump to the last step, and that is to freeze the drawing of the snow leopard with her frostbreath. Any normal dragon can do that, you say, but the snow leopard will come alive only if Artemise's frostbreath is used. Other frostbreath from other dragons will not affect the drawing. When the snow leopard comes to life, a fuzzy image will appear above the drawing, and as the fuzzy image becomes clearer, the drawing slowly vanishes.
  
  All snow leopards conjured by Artemise are completely loyal to her, and they can communicate mentally with her, unless one of them is asleep, blocked by some kind of magic, or is too far away from each other (300 feet is the cut-off point; any more than 300 feet and the mental communication will not work).
  
  There is a way to differentiate between a normal snow leopard and one made by Artemise. The normal snow leopard has a fur that is any colour but pure white - Artemise's snow leopards have pure white fur and black markings (the markings are similar to the normal snow leopard's), and brilliant blue eyes. Her snow leopards have slightly thicker fur as well, with sharper claws and a leaner body, almost resembling a cheetah's. But they still can't do much damage against dragons, so Artemise uses them mainly to carry letters.
  
  Artemise's snow leopard:
  
  
  A few abilities of empowered snow leopards:
  
  ~Faster speed (snowflakes on paws)
  ~Better eyesight (snowflakes on eyes)
  ~Slightly sharper claws/fangs to cut through stuff Arty's too lazy to cut through (snowflakes on fangs/claws)
  ~Better balance (snowflakes on tail)
  ~Keener sense of smell (snowflakes on nose)
  
  Note that her snow leopards can only have a maximum of three abilities at one time.
  
  
• Orb of Protection
  This is Artemise's (usually) last ditch move. If she has no way to fight back, all she can do is to form an orb around her. She rarely uses his move, as it consumes 95% of whatever energy she has. The orb is an ice blue colour, and as it slowly appears around her (it has a circumference of 50 feet), her energy will drain as well, and once the orb is fully formed, she will fall asleep in the orb. Although she will be placed in her safe orb, there is no guarantee the orb won't break. The orb takes one full minute to form.
  
  Resistance against elemental attacks:
  
  Against fire, it will melt after continuous exposure to fire for one post.
  Against earth, any type of poison (except modified ones) that is spread on it will cause the orb to dissolve away.
  Against wind, the orb will not break unless the orb is thrown into something hard (like a tree trunk, or a stone, or the side of a mountain) with the strength used to snap an ice shard into two; the wind will have to be pretty strong.
  Against light, if the light is hot enough (20°C, maybe) the orb will melt.
  Against water, if the force of water smashes the orb into something hard, or is as strong as a tsunami, then yes, there goes Artemise's orb.
  Against ice: please. The orb is basically ice.
  Against shadow abilities: NightWings with the shadow ability can literally "slip" through her shield.
  
  Resistance against physical attacks:
  
  Sharp stuff (like an IceWing's claw) can pierce through it, if enough force is applied. Ramming/consistently hitting the orb also works. But it depends on the size.
  
  Size and how many hits required:
  
  1~10 feet: nope. It won't work.
  11~20 feet: around 55 hits
  21~30 feet: around 50 hits
  31~40 feet: around 45 hits
  41~50 feet: around 40 hits
  51~60 feet: around 35 hits
  61~70 feet: around 30 hits
  71~80 feet: around 25 hits
  81~90 feet: around 20 hits
  91~100 feet: around 15 hits
  101~110 feet: around 10 hits
  111~120 feet: around 5 hits
  121 feet++: only 1 hit
  
  
• Wing shield
  Artemise can make her wing(s) freeze over with hard, dry ice, which she uses as a shield. It takes 5 minutes/1 post for ice to spread over her wing(s). The ice is pretty heavy, so she can't exactly fly with her wing shield "activated", nor can she run fast. But the good thing is that it's a pretty solid shield. Its resistance against elemental attacks and whatever physical stuff is exactly the same as her defensive orb. It takes 2 posts for the ice on her wing(s) to melt. If her wing shield is smashed, though, her wing bones will be shattered, and it will take 2 weeks before Artemise will be able to fly again.
  
  
• Frostbreath
  Like most IceWings, she can exhale frostbreath, but it is slightly colder than the average IceWing's, with a temperature similar to that of dry ice's. Her frostbreath is so cold that it can be considered as icy fire; it burns. Literally. When the frostbreath comes in contact with a (e.g) dragon, the dragon will feel as if they are being burned, but in a cold way. Then the area that is touched by Artemise's frostbreath will turn black, and the dragon will suffer pretty low body temperature, a lot of trembling, and cold body wherever he/she goes, even to a warm place. The effects will go on and on until 3 posts have passed/until some venom is spread on the victim: Any type of venom, like snake venom, is fine. Just as long as it's not some kind of modified venom. Somehow, venom will increase the victim's body temperature, and soon the victim will be back to normal (within 2 posts). But there are aftereffects, and they are loss of appetite, sluggish movements and trembling that also lasts for 2 posts.
  
  Waiting for 3 posts (not counting in the post where the victim comes in contact with her frostbreath) is NOT recommended. The victim, on the 2nd post, will feel as if there are shards poking around in his/her body, and he/she will be constantly vomiting.
  
  
• Orbs of Ice
  She can form ice orbs and shoot them from her maw; first, she has to "gather" her frostbreath in her mouth, and after a minute, the frostbreath will eventually become a ball (size ranges from 5 feet of circumference to 10 feet), which Artemise shoots from her maw. The orbs don't track or do anything special; they just shoot forward at a speed equivalent to a baseball being thrown. To break it, just let it smash into a solid wall, or bat it away with a tail, but if too much force is used to bat away the orb, it will shatter, and ice shards will fly everywhere.
  
  Weaknesses:
  
  
  
  • Tiny lung capacity. She can only go without oxygen without 50 seconds, and that is really short compared to other dragons. This increases her chances of drowning if she's ever in the water and is unable to rise to the surface.
    
    
  • Panics easily. Hit her with a huge spray of water, and she will start to panic. This shortens the time she can go without oxygen to only 30 seconds. Besides that, if she's around others, panicking might spread to them, and it really won't be helpful.
    
    
  • Has sensitive eyes. She is more prone to temporary blindness caused by sudden bursts of light/bright light.
    
    
  • Her scales have no resistance against fire. After consistent exposure to fire for 1 post, her scales will melt into liquid slush, and her tender pink skin will be exposed. Or if they dry and reform on wrong parts of her body, it makes her uncomfortable as well. She will need a week to regrow her scales, which will push off the melted scales, if there are any.
    
    
  • Has a weaker immune system. Poison/venom will deal 2 times more damage than it will deal to the average dragon's.
    
    
  • Bad balance. Yes, she can fly well, but bump against her once and she will plummet to the ground, where death awaits her. As for being on the ground, Artemise has her claws firmly stuck into the ground (not really), so she isn't that easy to knock down. But making her stand on unsteady places will also be a disadvantage for her.
    
    
  • She is built for speed, not resistance. She is more prone to being disabled or wounded severely by power-packed/heavy attacks.
    
    
  • She is very stubborn and rarely listens to advice. This often leads her into rather difficult situations.
    
    
  • Has a hot temper. She is easily provoked by the opponent; once provoked, she will get mad and charge blindly without bothering to consider the situation, which can cause her to fall into traps.
    
  
  Combat Style:
  In the air: Artemise will perform complicated aerial maneuvers, confusing the opponent (hopefully). Then, she will suddenly rush towards her opponent, usually making herself as thin as a spear, to ram her head/snout against the opponent and make him/her lose his/her balance.
  
  On the ground: She will use her whip-thin tail to her advantage and attack the opponent's legs, trying to make walking or running impossible.
  
  Background
  History: Will be revealed through RP~
  RP Sample: Nu ;-;
  

Hello! Nice dragon picture!

Anyway, onto the review.

Interests/Dislikes:
You described her as not liking to hurt those that are innocent, but likes fighting. Does this mean she enjoys doing practice fights, or enjoys getting payback at those that deserve it?

Family:
"All slaughtered by NightWings"
Why does everyone make my NW's the evil ones ;-; (it fine though )

Strengths:
please give details about your strengths. What makes you strong at fighting? What makes you good at flying? How fast can you fly? How high? How long? And how is exploring a strength? Is she good at making maps? And how is she a strong swimmer, and how is her will strong? Needs more details.

Special Abilities:
Explain what you mean by controlling the weather. If you mean you can create rain, cause typhoons or droughts, then this it too over powered for your character and a different power will need to be selected or severely limited.

Weaknesses:
"Too rash"
Needs more details. What of this makes it a weakness? How is she rash?

History:
You said her family was slaughtered by some NightWing. You sure you couldn't give some history into this?


Make changes to the Skills and Abilities section and clarify the interest in fighting, then bump when ready!

Bump~

Looks all good except in strengths, need to specify how fast they can fly. Do note that since they are not SlW, they can't fly too fast and need to be slower than 170mph in straight and level flight.

Also, your current special ability is fine, but you can change it to something else if you want. Just total control of the weather is more of a god/godess ability. ^.^;

Bump..

It looks all good and ready to approve, except I am a derp.  The average speed for a non SkyWing is 70 mph, so I would try and do something around 70, maybe 80. After that, everything else is good.

So sorry for the delay! >.<

Bump. Again. >.<

~APPROVED~

Out for edits

Done! Bump!

~APPROVED~

And best is to just list the changes you made, or just bump, or done, or HEY OCCY, GET OF YO LAZY BUM AND APPROVE DIS!!!! <3

Out for edits. Bump when ready.

Okay. I added some things, I'll try to list them all:
1. I increased her height from 90 feet to 103 feet.
2. For the scales, I added in something: "scales are slightly jagged".
3. I rephrased the hot temper thing.
4. I specified on how sharp her claws are.
5. I added something to her personalities. You can see what I added on the last line.
6. I made the location of the ruff more specific.
7. I edited her appearance: added "lean, elegant body".

I think that's all. Now..
HEY OCCY, GET OF YO LAZY BUM AND APPROVE DIS!!!! <3

XD

Anyway, leave this here until Sunday or something, I drew a dragon and I want to edit it, then use it as my picture for this app and my avatar.

~APPROVED~

Out for edits. . .

I give up on waiting for my painting to be done.
Bump.
Occy, I apologise for the inconvenience >.<
Do I need 2 mods' approval!? O-O

For edits you only need one mod, although Occy still needs to approve it again.

Title still says WIP, and if you plan on changing something soon, make that change before bumping

Bump!!


So sorry for bothering you so many times >.<;
I'll try not to edit my app any more e.e but I still need to complete my art, so I'll have to bother you one more time pretty soon, Occy! Sorry!

Declined.

Explained in next post.

Inheritance:
Specify the percentage or fraction of each type.

Strengths:
Fighting-
Artemise's forceful attacks inflict a lot of damage, and it is hard to evade or block them.
Explain that.  You can't just say all your attacks auto hit.

she has mastered flying, and it will aid her in aerial combat.
How has she mastered this?  Has she even trained?

Challenge her in the air and she will definitely win.
Nope.

Another thing to note is that she has many ways of fighting; if you learn one way of fighting she'll use another technique, proving her to be a tough opponent.
What techniques?  This needs to be explained somewhere, preferably combat style.

Hunting
and she will notice even the tiniest of movements.
Explain how she can do this.  Already too much.

Flying
She can fly as quickly as a SkyWing, and since she can manipulate the winds, she can fly faster than a SkyWing, though not all the time, since manipulating the winds take up most of her energy.
Nope

Special Abilities:
Flame of Ice
the temperature ranges from -200 degrees Celsius to -350 degrees Celsius.
Due to the fact that absolute 0 is at -273.2 degrees Celsuis.... declined.

Trials of the Wind
Artemise can manipulate the winds so as to enable her to fly faster and more smoothly;
You are not a purebred SkyWing, and are mainly IceWing, so you shouldn't be able to master wind control expecially on top of everything else.

she can decrease or increase the temperature of the wind. The lowest temperature is -10 degrees Celsius and the highest is 35 degrees Celsius
You have way to much already. Just way to much.

Weaknesses:
Rash and easily provoked.

Ok, so let me sum this up. You have absolute control of all weather, can freeze things past absolute 0, the temperature that molecules freeze in movement, and are the best flier in all the world when only part SkyWing, while your only weakness's are being rash and easily provoked.

This is a Mary Sue app, and is declined until heavily modified. Next time, if you are going to heavily edit an app, please don't tell me you made small edits in cbox, and let me know you changed a bunch.

Bump when you have limited your character based on Inheritance and balance powers with weaknesses.

Oculus wrote:Inheritance:
Specify the percentage or fraction of each type.

Strengths:
Fighting-
Artemise's forceful attacks inflict a lot of damage, and it is hard to evade or block them.
Explain that.  You can't just say all your attacks auto hit.

she has mastered flying, and it will aid her in aerial combat.
How has she mastered this?  Has she even trained?

Challenge her in the air and she will definitely win.
Nope.

Another thing to note is that she has many ways of fighting; if you learn one way of fighting she'll use another technique, proving her to be a tough opponent.
What techniques?  This needs to be explained somewhere, preferably combat style.

Hunting
and she will notice even the tiniest of movements.
Explain how she can do this.  Already too much.

Flying
She can fly as quickly as a SkyWing, and since she can manipulate the winds, she can fly faster than a SkyWing, though not all the time, since manipulating the winds take up most of her energy.
Nope

Special Abilities:
Flame of Ice
the temperature ranges from -200 degrees Celsius to -350 degrees Celsius.
Due to the fact that absolute 0 is at -273.2 degrees Celsuis.... declined.

Trials of the Wind
Artemise can manipulate the winds so as to enable her to fly faster and more smoothly;
You are not a purebred SkyWing, and are mainly IceWing, so you shouldn't be able to master wind control expecially on top of everything else.

she can decrease or increase the temperature of the wind. The lowest temperature is -10 degrees Celsius and the highest is 35 degrees Celsius
You have way to much already. Just way to much.

Alright. I specified the inheritance thingy, explained how I mastered flying, added that I can't win against everyone in aerial combat, put the combat style in the combat style section, deleted off the noticing tiniest of movements, decreased temperature of Flame of Ice, yakyakyak. Edited everything.

BUMP.

According to your description, the poison lasts for 4 days and makes anyone infected feel like they were burning alive? Having to experienceexperience excruciating pain is already akin to a higher level of Earthwing heritage needed than a measly 25%. Cut down the power of your poison considerably.

Her "Forceful attacks" are still auto-hitting others! Please rewrite this, being sure to remove "hard to evade or block them". This is not acceptable since it is akin to powerplaying.

You also mentioned she is an experienced fighter and excels in aerial combat, beaten by someone more experienced like a "god/goddess". Is this suggesting that she is so strong that it requires such to defeat her? No matter your experience, a pure Skywing or those with a greater Skywing inheritance will beat her regardless. I need you to rewrite that as such

So she is not only an experienced fighter but a tracker as well thanks to her memory and powerful senses? All of this, plus above, is already pointing out that Artemise is overpowered. I looked at your weaknesses straight after this and, unfortunately, being "rash" or easily provoked will not even balance your abilities from where I stopped reading. You need to rethink about what is necessary for your character and stick to it without adding anything extra. No one is perfect.

--

Flame of Ice is very inconsistent. The temperatures range from 0 to 10 degree celcius, yet it requires the victim to soak himself in lava for 4 days??? First of all, the temperatures you mentioned are equivalent to a home refrigerator, so I doubt it will be as cold as you stated. Second, why does it take just one hit from this to force others to run into a life threatening risk of dumping themselves in lava for 3 days? Frozen into a statue or potentially burning themselves/trap inside molten rock/suffocate from ashened air, it looks like they are dead either way. It is extremely overpowered, even if you managed to fix the temperatures. I will suggest you remove that part and fix this ability.

You need to add more description for conjuring. You cannot just make things out of thin air, especially if you are only half IW, 1/4 SkW and EW. Does she make them out of ice? It has to relate to her heritage.

Trial of the Wind is fine, as long as you can only gain an additional 10mph regardless.

--

Overall, there are still some things you need to fix. In particular, you have to remove some of her strengths/abilities and add more weaknesses, since the weaknesses you have given are not something anyone can really exploit. As it stands, you have a handful of strengths and abilities with only 2 very mild weaknesses.

Sly wrote:You also mentioned she is an experienced fighter and excels in aerial combat, beaten by someone more experienced like a "god/goddess". Is this suggesting that she is so strong that it requires such to defeat her? No matter your experience, a pure Skywing or those with a greater Skywing inheritance will beat her regardless. I need you to rewrite that as such

Sly, the word "like" is there for a reason. I put god/goddess there as it is an example. There are many, many dragons who are waaaaay more powerful and experienced than her, like Kenshin.

Can you help with with the ice thingy, though? I want her to have a colder ice breath but I don't know how cold it can be and what could counteract it.

Also, can you suggest some weaknesses? I can't think of any .-.

I corrected the poison. Is it still overpowered? And as for the "forceful attacks", I edited it too. Is it still counted as auto-hit?

Bump (and can I take over? ^.^)