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Scorches Application
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Dragons Roleplaying Forum :: Applications :: Creation Center :: Character Creation :: Old Applications
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Scorches Application
[center]center]
[/url]
Personal Info
Name:Scorch
Alias:(Prefers to be called scorch)
Age:12
Gender:Male
Sexuality:N/A
Personality:Scorch is a fun kind and playful dragon with a loving heart. At times he makes mistakes and when he does he has a hard Time getting over it. Scorch has a bad tendency to get angry easily making it not fun to be near him when he is. At times when he gets angry he can go into a blind rage making him very unsafe. but besides that he loves being around other people .
Interests:Coloring stones
Dislikes:arguing strangers and cats
Fears:Dragons large than him
General Appearance
Height:35 ft
Scales:red
Eyes:Sliver
Appearance:Two sets of wings , a colorful row of spikes down his body ending in a colorful set of spikes on his tail
Tribe Information and Status
Tribe:Firewings
Inheritance:N/A
Rank:Tracker
Family:Inferno, Blister
Mate:N/A
Hatchlings:N/A
Skills and Abilities
Strengths:Scorch exceeds at Flying in tight spaces,hunting deer and wild boars and Is great at fighting head to head combat
Special Abilities:Scorch is able to dye things diffrent colors with his colorful breath. this colorful mist colors the victim in a colorful stone coloring traping and encasing it . there is only one way to get it off is to dip yourself in lava to melt it of or you have scorch himself break it open
Weaknesses:Scorch has one main weakness and that is his anger problems. If he is in a blind rage he has a hard time seeing and thinking right making it easy to attak him . and it also makes him start attacking at random.
Combat Style: Wraps one set of his wings around his opponet traping it and constricting it while he attacks
Background
History:Scorch
RP Sample:Scorch was snoozing peacefully when all of a sudden he began to hear arguing. Groaning he opened his eyes and saw that blaze and burn were at it again "will you two be quiet" he moaned but they paid him no heed and continued their argument "You took more than your fair share at dinner!" burn yelled "No i did not!" Blaze growled "not again" sighed Scorch
[/url]
Personal Info
Name:Scorch
Alias:(Prefers to be called scorch)
Age:12
Gender:Male
Sexuality:N/A
Personality:Scorch is a fun kind and playful dragon with a loving heart. At times he makes mistakes and when he does he has a hard Time getting over it. Scorch has a bad tendency to get angry easily making it not fun to be near him when he is. At times when he gets angry he can go into a blind rage making him very unsafe. but besides that he loves being around other people .
Interests:Coloring stones
Dislikes:arguing strangers and cats
Fears:Dragons large than him
General Appearance
Height:35 ft
Scales:red
Eyes:Sliver
Appearance:Two sets of wings , a colorful row of spikes down his body ending in a colorful set of spikes on his tail
Tribe Information and Status
Tribe:Firewings
Inheritance:N/A
Rank:Tracker
Family:Inferno, Blister
Mate:N/A
Hatchlings:N/A
Skills and Abilities
Strengths:Scorch exceeds at Flying in tight spaces,hunting deer and wild boars and Is great at fighting head to head combat
Special Abilities:Scorch is able to dye things diffrent colors with his colorful breath. this colorful mist colors the victim in a colorful stone coloring traping and encasing it . there is only one way to get it off is to dip yourself in lava to melt it of or you have scorch himself break it open
Weaknesses:Scorch has one main weakness and that is his anger problems. If he is in a blind rage he has a hard time seeing and thinking right making it easy to attak him . and it also makes him start attacking at random.
Combat Style: Wraps one set of his wings around his opponet traping it and constricting it while he attacks
Background
History:Scorch
RP Sample:Scorch was snoozing peacefully when all of a sudden he began to hear arguing. Groaning he opened his eyes and saw that blaze and burn were at it again "will you two be quiet" he moaned but they paid him no heed and continued their argument "You took more than your fair share at dinner!" burn yelled "No i did not!" Blaze growled "not again" sighed Scorch
Last edited by Scorch on Wed Apr 27, 2016 6:31 am; edited 5 times in total
Scorch- Posts : 13
Reputation : 0
Location : Lives in a cave with best friend Seabreeze
Re: Scorches Application
Hey there, I'm Hyruu, one of the admins here, and I'll be reviewing my app for once I can see one before it gets claimed.
All in all, though, your app is really lacking details. Nearly all the sections could use some more length.
So first of all, your personality is really lacking. The bare minimum we can accept is five complete sentences, so you'll need to write something longer.
All your skills and abilities need a LOT more description. "Fighting", how is that supposed to be a strength ? At what in fighting does he excel ? What is that Triple Fire Blast ? And you need weaknesses during fight, not just things you don't excel at.
Also, I will have to see with the others because I'm not quite sure myself, but the whole arm thing... I'm not sure I can approve that. In any case, you already have some work making your app more detailed.
All in all, though, your app is really lacking details. Nearly all the sections could use some more length.
So first of all, your personality is really lacking. The bare minimum we can accept is five complete sentences, so you'll need to write something longer.
All your skills and abilities need a LOT more description. "Fighting", how is that supposed to be a strength ? At what in fighting does he excel ? What is that Triple Fire Blast ? And you need weaknesses during fight, not just things you don't excel at.
Also, I will have to see with the others because I'm not quite sure myself, but the whole arm thing... I'm not sure I can approve that. In any case, you already have some work making your app more detailed.
Hyruu- LightWing Hunter
-
Posts : 1529
Reputation : 28
Age : 31
Re: Scorches Application
OHHH thanks so much the whole thing really confused me i will try again ok
Scorch- Posts : 13
Reputation : 0
Location : Lives in a cave with best friend Seabreeze
Re: Scorches Application
Hyruu wrote:Hey there, I'm Hyruu, one of the admins here, and I'll be reviewing my appfor once I can see one before it gets claimed.
All in all, though, your app is really lacking details. Nearly all the sections could use some more length.
So first of all, your personality is really lacking. The bare minimum we can accept is five complete sentences, so you'll need to write something longer.
All your skills and abilities need a LOT more description. "Fighting", how is that supposed to be a strength ? At what in fighting does he excel ? What is that Triple Fire Blast ? And you need weaknesses during fight, not just things you don't excel at.
Also, I will have to see with the others because I'm not quite sure myself, but the whole arm thing... I'm not sure I can approve that. In any case, you already have some work making your app more detailed.
Ok i fixed up my application what do you think now?
Scorch- Posts : 13
Reputation : 0
Location : Lives in a cave with best friend Seabreeze
Re: Scorches Application
Alright that's a bit better, but there are some things to correct.
First, realized I missed it, but an alias is supposed to be a surname for your Dragon ^^ could be one your dragon gives himself or one people tend to give him.
Your abilities still need more clarity. When you say good at flying, is it speed? Acrobatics? If speed, how fast can he go? Don't hesitate to give examples so one can directly see how proficient he is at that. Do not forget that your app isn't only directed at us staff, but also at any member that will want to know what your character is like - and they will need every piece of info to be there. Also, Strengths refers to things related to combat. His proficiency as a hunter doesn't belong there.
As for your special abilities, again, needs some kind of clarification and tweaking.
The poison acid seems a bit too strong to me. Are you affected by it yourself? Also, acid abilities are generally reserved for Earthwings, so either have some EW lineage and become an hybrid, or find another solution.
Eating items, since it's only an arm, doesn't it limit the ability to small objects (and as such small fireballs)? Please specify how big items and associated fireball can get.
Colorful breath, what does it do? Does it just paint foes ? Does it have other effects?
First, realized I missed it, but an alias is supposed to be a surname for your Dragon ^^ could be one your dragon gives himself or one people tend to give him.
Your abilities still need more clarity. When you say good at flying, is it speed? Acrobatics? If speed, how fast can he go? Don't hesitate to give examples so one can directly see how proficient he is at that. Do not forget that your app isn't only directed at us staff, but also at any member that will want to know what your character is like - and they will need every piece of info to be there. Also, Strengths refers to things related to combat. His proficiency as a hunter doesn't belong there.
As for your special abilities, again, needs some kind of clarification and tweaking.
The poison acid seems a bit too strong to me. Are you affected by it yourself? Also, acid abilities are generally reserved for Earthwings, so either have some EW lineage and become an hybrid, or find another solution.
Eating items, since it's only an arm, doesn't it limit the ability to small objects (and as such small fireballs)? Please specify how big items and associated fireball can get.
Colorful breath, what does it do? Does it just paint foes ? Does it have other effects?
Hyruu- LightWing Hunter
-
Posts : 1529
Reputation : 28
Age : 31
Re: Scorches Application
After a discussion with the other members of the staff, we decided to deny the heads you have on your arms. This is... A bit too special to be accepted. An argument that also came was that such a dragon wouldn't be able to survive, and that's not taking the fact he was alone into account. I fear you will have to remove that part of your character.
Hyruu- LightWing Hunter
-
Posts : 1529
Reputation : 28
Age : 31
Re: Scorches Application
OK i can change it up a bit
Scorch- Posts : 13
Reputation : 0
Location : Lives in a cave with best friend Seabreeze
Re: Scorches Application
Meh I feel like I'm blind today and just miss things ><
It seems your interests have been wiped, so you'll need to put them again.
Firewings can't be smaller than 35 feet, as mentioned in the New Member's Guide. So you'll have to fix his height as well.
Your fears are a bit weird. You do realize they must be real fears, not just things he doesn't like. Fearing to be alone would be kinda unlivable...
Hunter isn't a rank, it's Tracker. Basically the same, just the name ^^
You still haven't really described what your breath does. Does it really just color the target ? How ? Is it just like covering with paint, or something harder to remove ? Any additional effects ?
It seems your interests have been wiped, so you'll need to put them again.
Firewings can't be smaller than 35 feet, as mentioned in the New Member's Guide. So you'll have to fix his height as well.
Your fears are a bit weird. You do realize they must be real fears, not just things he doesn't like. Fearing to be alone would be kinda unlivable...
Hunter isn't a rank, it's Tracker. Basically the same, just the name ^^
You still haven't really described what your breath does. Does it really just color the target ? How ? Is it just like covering with paint, or something harder to remove ? Any additional effects ?
Hyruu- LightWing Hunter
-
Posts : 1529
Reputation : 28
Age : 31
Re: Scorches Application
Oh thats because i am still changing it
Scorch- Posts : 13
Reputation : 0
Location : Lives in a cave with best friend Seabreeze
Re: Scorches Application
Oh alright. Just bump when you're done then ^^
Hyruu- LightWing Hunter
-
Posts : 1529
Reputation : 28
Age : 31
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Dragons Roleplaying Forum :: Applications :: Creation Center :: Character Creation :: Old Applications
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