This Is Who I Am [I/P]

"Is this it?" Her words echoed in the silence of the night. She sat there, wondering about running away so many years ago. She didn't remember why, or where she came from, only that she came her running, with nothing but her name to remember. She had her feet hung over the side of the wall as she stared off into another volcano. She watched the magma burst from the sides of them and the lava pour out. She would count the times it flared up for her amusement.

But she grew bored. She needed something to do. With all of the heat and pressure, many of her gems grew stronger. Her gold became easy to reform and set. She remained there, lost, bored, covered in riches. She wondered what else was out there.

"Just wondering about the shiny stuff!" she would yell out. She would turn behind her, wondering who was there. But with the voices so close to the true heart of lava, she didn't find any reason to think it was anyone outside of their kind. "Thought I had more rubies.

Tsubasa sat there, wondering where and why these gems formed. Could a dragon ever make a gem? Maybe if they tried hard enough. Maybe it was the extinct Earthwings that made them. Or maybe the reptilians. She wasn't really sure, but being a pygmy would allow her to explore both worlds. After all, that's what she was... right?

"Oh. . . she never noticed me before. . ." She thought to herself. A solemn look would fall upon her face, but only for a moment. She saw it as a chance to really get things rolling. "Tsubasa, your highness."

She was ashamed to have forgotten what her voice sounded like. For years she ran, hiding from the larger dragons. Her tasks limited to bring numbing collection of tools and resources and the occasional scrubbing of the floors that could be scrubbed.

She would hold onto her necklace as she stood up. It was gold, four round squares with an oval ruby in the center. She would stop, to bow, only to point again. "I found these last week when I had to get the herbs for... uh... Uhm..." Her mind would be blank, losing the name of her superior. She was but a pawn in the grand scheme of things. She was expendable.

"I should have never came here. . . ." Her mind raced, "She's gonna kill me because of my stupidity."


"Oh no no no," she said, her body still as she was held up by a claw. Was it not appropriate? Was it out of respect, or out of habit that she did so? Who was to say. "I mean, no one really notices me until I trip." She would laugh, reflecting on the few times she ran food from one end of the palace to the other. To try and hold massive quantities of consumables for creatures more than her size increased tenfold.

She pondered the the name for a moment, only to come up short. "Red dragon, I forget his name. But I always go out alone." she'd admit, "Since I'm a little smaller than reptilians, no one sees me. That's what they told me."

Finishing her sentence, she would twitch a bit, only to forget what happened moment ago. Again, she would bow. "Uhm... your majesty." she would add on.

"O-Of course... she would speak, only to bow again, and to catch herself in mid action. She would jerk her body against that instinct to stand still. "T-t-thank you Tempest-Sse-. . . Tempest."

Suffixes to names just to show respect. Things ingrained into her mind in a past life she knew nothing about. It was only now that she knew why she was kept in the shadows, and made to avoid contact with the others. Her own personality and habits were conflicting with everyone and everything. It wasn't that she was well equipped for any of her missions, they were trying to get rid of her.

"I-I won't do it a-a-again. . . " She spoke, stuttering and falling short on her words. She was embarrassed to say the least. She was smaller than reptilians, and looked like an ant to most of the dragons. Nothing about her fit into the world she lived in. She begun to feel like they were all better off without her. But who was to say. Maybe her differences would be an advantage. Maybe she did have a purpose after all.

"But..."  she began, "I don't think I could remember his face, or even name." she admitted, "S-s-sorry...."

"I-I-I'm j-just not good with faces." she said. Having her lay down to see her better was a bit frightening. It felt weird to have superiors talk on an equal ground with her. She wasn't sure how to act, or if what she said was correct. But if that's how the queen wanted it, she would have to obey.

Flustered, she continued, "I'm plenty strong!" she said, she would blush, only for the muscles in her cheeks to puff up like a pouting child. She was sure they sent her out because she was the best, right? But she entertained the idea.

". . . . should I go b-back to b-b-black smithing?" She asked, not really sure if any job for her was right.

"I... I used to be." she would tell her. "I made a few dragon helms, and. . . " she looked down at herself, pointing at her necklace, "These... things too!"

She wondered if jeweling would be a better fit. But nothing seemed to be fire for her. What she did craft, took a long time, being a small creature, forging metals for beings more than ten times her size. And with little reptilains, she saw no need to forge gear around her size. It was being an outcast among outcasts. She never quite fit in.

"I... I have no forge." she spoke, ". . . .sorry."

She was disappointed to have failed her queen, but she would think of something. Even being a servant would satisfy.

"My family were all blacksmi-" She said her words full of glee and happiness. Only to fall into a whisper. She didn't remember her family at all, but she felt as if it was something that ran in her blood. She was born to a family of blacksmithing pygmies, she was sure of it.

"As you wish!" she would say. With her right fist, she clasped her hands together, palm over claw. She would give a slight bow, not of formal respect, but of honor. "It will be my honor to serve your directly."

She wanted to discover the full extent of her own skill and knowledge, while trying to expand. She wanted to find out who she was, both in terms of usefulness, and in terms of spiritually. There was a lot of room for growth. And this was just the beginning.

"Oh." was the only word to escape her lips. She wasn't sure if what she felt was sympathy or empathy or just sorrow.
To hear that the leader, the one in charge of commanding the whole tribe lived without knowing her parents well was something devastating to hear. But to have a leader so brave and strong, reassured her everything would be fine. It was only then that she wondered if her parents suffered the same fate. She wondered if they even cared for her. All she remembered was running. Was she running after them? Was she running from them? Or was she running from what took them?

"To have you take me to the forge?" she asked wide-eyed. "Yes, of course!"

She wanted to help out in any way that she could. She wanted to ease the workload for everyone. She wanted to help. And she wanted to forget her own pains. Whatever she had to do to get to that forge, be in in her hand, or on the queen's back, she was ready to go.

She didn't know a thing about the nomadic people who birthed her. She didn't know the tribal ways of a primitive community who drowned themselves in the old ways. She didn't know about the reptilians she lived along side with, nor the fact she was one. In her mind, all she saw and smelled were dragons and steel. She believed herself to be born to firewings. She believed she was just a small wingless dragon. A runt among giants. That was her false memories. And she was far from what the reality was.

Being picked up and placed, she immediately grabbed into the first thing she could. Her small arms reached onto her horn, not sure what to expect. While she dreampt of flying, she wasn't sure what to do now. "Yip yip. . . ." she muttered under her breath, pressing her face along the side of her queen's horn. She did not want to die.

With each change of stance, each movement, each wiggle, each step she panicked. She feared falling to her death and becoming a lizard pancake. As she begun to step faster and faster, running, sprinting, then jumped. . .

In the sky, she could feel the wind, yet she would close her eyes. She didn't want to see the world like it was. She didn't want to be so high up. But if it was the fastest and easiest way to get where she needed to do, so be it. She would have to endure the nightmare. As she spoke, Tsubasa nodded her head, rubbing against Tempest's body.

"Mhm." she would say, the sound muffled and hidden. She was not enjoying it at all, but for now, she would live in the moment.

With each jerk, pull and sudden shaking, a small yelp could be heard from the small lizard. She feared her death would be falling past the clouds. She would grasp tightly onto the large fingered claws of her queen, shaking with fear. She was unable to word her own pains and torture. She wanted to be put down, but out of fear, she could not ask for it.

"Tsu no want." She said, clutching onto Tempest's hand. "No want wing." her eyes were open wide, darting side to side, ready for another change of pace. She did not like being so high up. At that moment, she wouldn't mind being grounded for life. She wouldn't mind being an Earthwing. If it meant not seeing the ground from so high up, she would do it. She was ready to leave it behind.

The sky, was scary.

"I don't want to walk, but I don't wanna get back on. . . " she thought to herself. But to make her slow her pace to keep up with her tiny legs would only show her to be a larger burden. She would have to get over her own fears for the sake of her people.

"If it's not too much to ask." she would say rather loudly, unsure if the queen could hear her so far away. There was so many changes in her life in just a short time. In any case, it was an upgrade no matter how she looked at it. And to have a forge, would mean a better job. And a better job, meant not having to sleep on rocks, even though she didn't think that life was all too bad.

"Myself." she would speak up, if the queen did not near her, or did not say anything about her volume. "And anything I can find. I like to believe even objects have souls."

A weird thought for a weird lizard.