Random Dragon Commercials

by **Overcharge** Sat Sep 27, 2014 2:09 am

This will be a topic used for making commercials aimed at dragons.

I shall start with one I joked about with Arkh.

Arkhasol, The Deodorant for Dragons!
Cool Dragon

"I live underwater, so I don't really need deodorant, but if I did, I'd chose Arkhasol!"
-Arkhor

(Mainly aimed at all those womanizing Firewings) Har Har

by **Arkhor** Sat Sep 27, 2014 2:24 am

// Ark agrees, those damn womanizing dragons would be covered in that stuff, viper will have some fun.... //

MagicCakes

Want a cake poof, welcome to Phan's magic cakes. Dial 777 - MAGIC for your random cake appearance TODAY!

They are Phantastic! (god the pun)

(I think Koko & Shine would make Phan go out of business XD)

by **Frostflare** Sat Sep 27, 2014 6:27 am

/Aimed at dragonesses tring to flee away firewing flirts./
Are you tired of getting chased by flirts?
Do you have no privatcy?
Is there anyway to make them go away?
Well this product will answer yes to all of the following questions! Be prepared for "Flirt Away!
Its easy to use, and its also fun! Just fill it up with water, aim, then pull the trigger to blast freezing cold water at the flirt!
Buy it today!

by **Akreious** Sun Sep 28, 2014 11:33 am

Does the flirt-away not work for you because the flirts are just to strong for that?
Need a quick body guard or two?

Will this device work with the flirt away? Of course it can!
Presenting the Robotic Arcke-Flirt exterminator! Protectin all sorts of females from those darn flirts..... Mostly volcanis
So where do I get such an amazing contraption? Well if you bundle this product (which is only $60!) with the flirt away, you get it for a great deal of $40!
Call 604-899-477 Banana Ltd. now for a 50% off!

Edit: don't actually call that number

by **Avian** Sun Sep 28, 2014 12:15 pm

Err... this commerical was aimed to brainwash you into buy... am... this.... this rock. Yes, purchase this fine 100% pure granit-*Rock breaks into fragments and rolls off Avian's paws*-e ro- HEH?! Where'd he go- *Cut*
*Lots of Static*
*Extreme Static*
......
.....
....
*Goes onto the next commercial after Avian screws up tongue

*

Next Commercial Below? Razz

by **Frostflare** Sun Sep 28, 2014 1:51 pm

Are you tired of firewings "accidently" burning down your home?
Well I have come up with the perfect solution!
MOVE TO A NEW FREAKIN PLACE!
*statics out*
Next?

by **Avian** Sun Sep 28, 2014 1:58 pm

Earthwings, they're so healthy that you have to eat them!
Find them at you nearest EarthWing then, then take off the head! Call someone's number and start hunting toda- *Explosion on the back of the set*
Guy: AHH!!! THEY'RE ATTACKING
Director: Abandon show! RUN FOR YO- GAHH*Gets eaten*

Avian: Okay... that's enough attacking Earthwings for one day... RETREAT! AHHH-*Runs off camera**

More Static*

Disclosure: We are not responsible for injury or death while you hunt Earthwings, take responsibilities for yourself dammit!

*Next Commercial*

by **Rayla** Thu Oct 09, 2014 7:29 am

Have you ever wanted to be amazing? Are you too fat to think you're amazing?

Try new Awesomeness 900! Not only does it make you awesome, it makes you AWESOME! Just hear what our reviewers have to say about this!:

Death the Kid, Soul Eater, Shinigami,
"I have no idea how I got here, stop shoving that stuff in my face! It's asymmetrical, dang it!"

Lucy Heartfeilia, Fairy Tail, Celestial Wizard,
"For the last time I am not a dragon! Now please take me back home!"

Toothless, How to Train Your Dragon, Night Fury,
"This stuff was awesome! As soon as I tried it, all the nadders were coming on me, if you know what I mean *Wink*"

There you have it folks! Simply call 111-DEATH today to receive you're awesome new Awesomeness 900 today~! I promise you won't be disappointed!

Warning, please ask your local healer before taking this medicine! If you are diagnosed with Lutosia, Shimzaesia, Likasia, Rogue, Shaffanzia, Myopia, Homesickness, OCD, or Loss of Limbs like tails, please refrain from using this product. Side effects may include itching, swelling, sweating, bleeding from your mouth, your temperature dropping insanely, rashes, rabies, your eyeballs falling out, pregnancy, fainting, concussions, death, and many others. Please do not take Awesomeness 900 after eating meat, chocolate milk, grass, berries, or water. If any of these side effects occur, please talk to your local healer. Awesomeness 900 is not responsible for death of loved ones who have used this product. Awesomeness 900 is the legal property of DeathHeckYea.

*Next commercial*

by **Frostflare** Thu Oct 09, 2014 9:12 am

Hey, tiny dragon! Are you tired off getting bullied? Well try my new invention! The Large away! Anythin above the selected size between 3-20 feet can be shooed away! Let see how it works!
"All you do is just aim, press the button, and watch your enemies fly away! Its that easy!"
Call or*studio explodes*
"NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CORPSES THAT MAY FALL IN RANDOM TERRITORIES. LARGE AWAY IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR INGRY, GETTING CRUSHED, OR DEATH WHILE AIMING. WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR SUDDEN MALFUNTIONS, OR LARGE DRAGONS HAVING A WAR WITH YOU, PLEASE USE RESPONSIBLY!"
*next please*

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