Finding My Way Back (Kenina/Finished)

It had been a long day. Between having the monsters to deal with and the revelation that his Goddess had abandoned him, Baldirak was in desperate need of a break. Luckily, it was nighttime. The moon was just rising and the stars peeked out from behind the clouds. The air was cool only because of a breeze that moved through Daelorios Island. Baldirak sat at the ruins of the old ElderWing city; he had decided to come here to get away from everything for a bit.  The ancient tribe had been kind enough to take in the most severely wounded back when the invasion occurred. They even offered to help rid the mainland of the monsters when the time came. Baldirak's pale gaze was fixed on the sky. When the clouds finally moved to allow the moon to shine, the King closed his eyes and began his evening prayers... He asked for guidance in keeping what remained of the Imperium together and how to handle the strange creatures that had invaded the world. But... having been abandoned by the Goddess to whom he had been most strongly devoted; whose name he had honored by changing his own; who he had looked to and found strength in in his most darkest days... Who was there left for him to pray to? Who would hear his words now? If Astral had deserted him, he, her most loyal follower... could not the other gods have done so as well?

After he finished he simply sat there, listening to the various sounds of the night. Insects competed to see who could be the loudest. The wind whistled eerily through the ruins. Baldirak opened his eyes and looked around. He suddenly felt extremely alone--he was, of course--but it was different. He wasn't just physically alone; he felt it emotionally as well. He had never been terribly close to his mate. Yes, his joining with Kenina had surpassed being only political, but there was still a distance to them. Kenina loved him, he had no doubt about that--yet still she had him at tail's length. The reason felt more than the loss of the Imperium, of the thousands of Draconic lives. But he couldn't figure out what. Baldirak had tried to console her to no avail. He hadn't giving up per se, but he stopped trying as hard. In fact, after the day he'd had, he doubted he would attempt it anytime soon. The fall of Dragonkind had affected him just as much as the others, but Astral's truth hit him too hard. He had believed that as long as his Goddess still lived, still gave her Prophet the hope he needed, this era of death would end. What did he have to believe in, now?

The Twilight Ki--No. He wasn't even that. He was the Prophet of No One; the Abandoned; leader of a pitiful little band of survivors who did naught but collect and examine the corpses of monsters. Baldirak laid down and, though he knew she would not come, wished Kenina were with him.

Bump.

Kenina thought the saying don't ever meet your heroes was a little exaggerated, that is until now. Her whole life she had been dedicated to the teachings of Astralogy. In wisdom and in knowledge there is power. Be aware of all things, for the greatest evil in the world is the unknown. Always have an open mind as evil is very good at hiding in what you think you know. She thought these teachings had served her well. She was so close to conquering the world and with the political mating she basically had though not in the way she had imagined. Now it was all gone. Crushed by these god forsaken creatures. Course the whole damn world was god forsaken now.

Kenina's spine of fire flared with anger saturating the cave in light for a moment as she growled for a bit before simmering down a little. She had met her goddess and she was a pathetic excuse for a dragon. Not even a dragon. She had forsaken her kind in favor of those that had nearly wiped out the EarthWings. Nearly wiped out Baldirak. The poor guy. Kenina's flame dimmed significantly. He was more than she deserved. He had taken their mating very seriously, more than just a political move in his eyes and admittedly it was more for her too. How could she ever make it up to him though. How could she ever compare to his kindness. Those damn monsters and Astral. She was a bigger monster than they at this point.

Kenina's crown flared again. She needed to kill that false goddess. Maybe then she'd feel better, be free of some of her mistakes. The traitor more than deserved it. The false goddess even hurt her mate. How she never knew Baldirak had been Astral's prophet until recently only proved how much she had failed him.

"Damn it all, I've had it. I'm sick of lying around on my tail. They will burn for their transgressions! I will bath this world in fire and cleanse it of the scum." It's time to plot the conquering of this world once more this time from the monsters. But first she needed to find her mate.

She didn't know what to do after she finally did find him. He was at some ruins. She wanted to be there for him, but at the same time how could she? Kenina landed on the ground a full wings length away from him. There was only one thing she could think of to say and her flames raged just thinking about it. "I'm going to kill her. I'm going to kill Astral and all the monsters she allowed to take over our world, our kingdom."

Baldirak barely flinched when Kenina landed, a rather concerning thing considering his crippled foreleg kept him in constant pain. He felt the heat of her flames but didn't stir. He heard her words but didn't respond to them. If not for the fact that his open eyes occasionally found some moving object to follow, one might have assumed he were asleep. In reality, the EarthWing just didn't care. He didn't care who had just approached him; he didn't care about what they had to say. He didn't care about anything. What was the point? And yet, for as long as he had been laying there not caring, Baldirak hadn't bothered removing his Astralogy talisman or the white Moonstone from around his neck.

An incredibly long time passed before Baldirak finally lifted his head. Just his luck, his mate had decided to land on his right side. His Reckoning wounds--some, anyway--were dealt to his right side. The three scars that spanned nearly that entire side of his body started at his jawline, and stopped just short of his hip. They were painful from his jaw to the shoulder. And so when Baldirak turned his head to be able to see Kenina, it hurt. One wouldn't have guessed that it had by looking at him, however. The EarthWing regarded the FireWing Queen in silence. Ordinarily, he would have been elated to see her... The way he looked at her now, however, was not unlike how a grieving widow/widower stared at their beloved's grave.  He was a shell of his former self, and perhaps even that was too generous a statement.

As long as it had taken Baldirak to finally acknowledge Kenina's presence, it probably took longer for him to finally respond. He had to think back to remember what it was she had said. But the gravity of her proclamation barely registered with Baldirak. She could have said she was going to kill him and he might have considered rolling over to make it easier. "....Do what you want... I..." The EarthWing trailed off and laid his head back down, looking back out at the black waters as the moon disappeared behind the clouds. What little he'd had left to hold on to had been taken away. He just didn't care anymore.

Kenina winced as she took a moment to regard Baldi and noticed his scars. It was a further reminder of what Astral had allowed to happen. Baldirak turned and faced her way but he almost seemed to be looking right through her, like she wasn't even there. The Earthwing king, her mate barely said anything. Just "Do what you want." After seeing Astral it was shown to him he had lost everything. This was not the Baldirak she knew.

Kenina slowly got closer her compassion and maybe even love for him over riding her guilt that kept her at a distance. She looked him over more thoughtfully but it only became more clear how he was barely even there. Like a tree that doesn't move, but simply exists.

Kenina nuzzled him before turning away and roaring into the sky with all her breath her flames growing blinding. After she was out of breath and her flames died down she didn't feel any better. She didn't know how to deal with this in a healthy way. There was one way she could think of how to deal with it though and that was kill Astral. Kenina spread her wings and launched in the air leaving Baldirak behind. Her rage had one singular focus, kill the traitor goddess.

The EarthWing didn't even move when Kenina moved closer to him. The two things she did next, however, woke something in the Twilight King. First, she nuzzled him. It was a simple gesture, but one she had never done herself before, and only once allowed Baldirak to do. Then, the FireWings' Queen turned and roared. It wasn't just a roar, however, but a release, an expression of her frustrations, her emotions... and perhaps even her mate's. It was very long and very loud and accompanied by a brilliant fire that dared to rival the sun... and probably could. Baldirak had to turn away and close his eyes--not that doing so made the flames any less bright. But a switch was flipped in his mind at the sight of those flames. Suddenly, it wasn't just a FireWing standing before him. It was Kenina--the Queen that everyone feared and some despised; the hot-tempered dragoness that was his polar opposite; his mate that he loved more than what would be expected of a political union. The EarthWing King forced himself to stand. Though it wasn't obvious yet, Baldirak hadn't been eating. What food could be claimed before the monsters caught wind of the hunting party, Baldi left to everyone else. He settled on what scraps remained, or didn't eat at all. Even now that the Survivors had managed to clear out an area of all resident monsters, allowing a little more food to be acquired, he still barely ate. The only real indication so far was how much longer than usual it took him to get up--though one could chalk that up to his leg and other injuries.

Just as Kenina spread her wings, Baldirak pressed his body against hers. He nuzzled her and licked her muzzle, and just tried to be as close to her as he could possibly get. The warmth of her scales and her flaming mane made him feel warm all over, yet not overly so. Everything felt right with the world suddenly. "Kenina... I missed you.." While he was markedly changed from a few minutes ago, the pain was still there, and one could hear it in his voice.

The shock of Baldirak's sudden change of behavior snapped Kenina out of her rage for the moment. Her wings stood idly in the air as she processed what was going on and how to deal with it. Her mate didn't seem to be doing too well and she didn't know how to deal with it. It was good to see he was at least aware of his surroundings though. Was so weird seeing him like this.

Kenina lowered her wings down draping one of the over the top of Baldirak. "I missed you too. I'm sorry I haven't been there for you. I'm back now though and there is a certain ex-goddess who needs to pay for everything that has happened."

"You're here now. I just wish it were under better circumstances.." Baldirak hadn't stopped nuzzling the smaller dragoness--until she decided to mention her. Now it was Baldirak's turn to be mad at a moment ruined. He let out a growl that was more menacing than he intended and abruptly moved away from Kenina, turning and looking away. He laid down once more on his left side. A few minutes passed before finally spoke. Once again, his voice was weighted with pain, with defeat, smothered in the pitch darkness of the bottomless hole he'd fallen into. "Can't your vengeance wait? Do you not remember how I cared for you in your darkest hour--as much as you would allow? Is my pain, the betrayal I suffered, somehow lesser than yours? Can you not see how much I need you now? Do I really have to tell you that all I want right now is you? Not vegeance, not the death of a goddess. Just your company, just laying here on this island with me away from everything for one evening."

Kenina was actually startled by her mates growl. She wasn't use to him showing much aggression. Apparently he wasn't fond of Astral either. The mention of her name killed whatever mood he was in and he went back to his sulking. Kenina didn't know what to do. She just stared at him trying to think of something to say.

After a few minuets pass of her being completely frozen in place Baldirak spoke again. She wanted to say she was getting vengeance for both of them, but that didn't seem like the right thing to say right now. And in fact he did need to tell her all he needed was having her right now. As he already knew she would have just taken off and gone after Astral otherwise. Kenina walked up to her mate and laid down next to him. It felt weird being so still now. Her body wanted to go and do something anything but lie around. It showed in her agitated flames, but she lay still all the same. She still didn't have anything to say.

It wasn't so farfetched that Kenina might be too shocked to leave. The only time Baldirak had shown any true aggression in her presence, was the day the monsters attacked. Still, this was different; this anger was almost directed at her for no less than mentioning someone--and not even by name. Nevertheless, Baldirak didn't think she would stay. She never had before. She always left to pursue whatever goal she had set for herself.

And so it startled the EarthWing when Kenina laid down beside him. Mind you, it wasn't so much the act of her laying beside him, as it was simply that he didn't notice right away. When he did, he carefully rolled onto his stomach--carefully, because of the three long scars along his belly that still were tender and not fully closed--and looked at the FireWing. Baldirak's pale gaze was immediately drawn to Kenina's flames. It didn't take a trained eye to figure out the mood her fire depicted.

Baldirak suddenly felt... well, worse. It was clear that his mate didn't really want to lay here with him. He sighed. At least she was trying. He lowered his head down to hers and lightly licked at her face while he extended one wing to lay over her. He curled his body around hers, as if he suddenly felt the need to protect her from some danger that hadn't yet made itself known. He began nuzzling his mate again, and occasionally licked at her muzzle or neck, all the while letting a low growl-like purr rumble in his throat.

Kenina was put off guard as Baldirak affectionately licked her. He wasn't done making her uncomfortable either as he wrapped himself around her blocking all her escape routes including above as he draped a wing over her. The Firewings head wrapped around scanning the body that was around her like it was a foreign creature she didn't recognize invading her personal space. As far as she could recall he'd never done this before. Her mate had for the most part always respected her space. He of course showed he cared and especially during these troubled times supported her. Nothing like this though.

Her mate kept going further, thoroughly lavishing her with loving attention as a deep and admittedly attractive purr rumbled from him. It was pretty much impossible for the Firewing to feel hot, but this was definitely doing it. Her mind was still having a hard time processing what was going on. She looked intensely into his eyes looking for answers. What she saw was pretty infectious. The beginnings of a purr began stiring in Kenina as she began attending to him with her own licks and nuzzling. Her mind was begging to say something. For words to be said somewhere. But her heart was winning on letting things be. The agitation disappeared from her flames instead growing smaller yet somehow more intense, the color slightly shifting, and the flickering matching her purr.

Kenina seemed beside herself with confusion and perhaps some discomfort. She looked at her mate as if she didn't recognize him. It felt like she wanted to get away when Baldirak curled up around her. Then, Kenina pulled back and looked at him. Actually, it was prolly more accurate to say that she was staring, and very intensely. Since she had laid down, Baldirak wanted to say something but he couldn't figure out what. Nothing felt right or sounded good enough in his head. As he held his mate's gaze, his pale blue eyes searching hers right back, the EarthWing thought again of saying something. Again he drew a blank.

Perhaps his eyes had said what his maw could not. Suddenly, Kenina nuzzled him back and returned his affectionate licks. Baldirak even heard a purr building in her throat. Her flames lessened, lost their agitation, yet somehow remained intense, though now with a different emotion. He curled himself tighter around her. Her flames and naturally intense body heat--which ordinarily would have been a bit much for him--was soothing. It seemed to melt away his pain and he wanted more of it. He laid his right forepaw over hers, letting the heat penetrate his always sore pawpad. Baldirak purred a little more--and consequently a little louder--as he enjoyed this much-needed time with Kenina. For a good moment or two, he just basked in her warmth and affection. His nostrils flared a little as he inhaled her scent. Then, he resumed his own shows of love for his mate, nuzzling and licking her once more.

*and fade to black...for awhile*

The next morning...

The sun was just starting to warm up when Baldirak woke. Kenina was still asleep at his side. The EarthWing gently licked the top of her head, being careful not to wake her. He couldn't help letting out a quiet purr, though. Baldirak discovered that his attraction to Kenina was more than mental--she was very physically attractive, as well; their cuddling had developed into something much more. A contented sigh passed through his nostrils as he laid his head back down and curled a little tighter around his Queen. For once, he wasn't miserable. He felt no pain. He felt only his love for his mate; he was happy. Baldirak glanced up at the sky. The sun was alone in the morning sky--there wasn't a single cloud and no sign one would show up soon. Baldirak considered staying here for the day... just he and his mate. They could return to the Ebonwing Isles in the evening, or even tomorrow. Surely his nephew, Vilkas, and the NightWings' leader Tenebris, could take care of anything that happened in the meantime. The EarthWing looked at Kenina again as she slept. Though he didn't know it, his eyes had changed colors, from their usual pale blue, to an orange the same color as Kenina's flames.

A little while later Kenina slowly was brought to wakefulness. She was cuddled up to his side and felt a strange feeling that made her seem lighter and at ease with the world. Was this what feeling loved felt like? Unfortunately the joy that pleasant feeling left was short lived as her thoughts turned to what they had done the previous day. It had been passionate and very enjoyable at the time but now all she felt was shame. She'd never be able to have hatchlings with her mate. What a failure she was as a dragon and as a queen. She couldn't produce a heir or know the joy of raising hatchlings. Once more Kenina's fire became agitated but this time with a low burn to reflect the sadness behind it.

Restless Kenina got up and moved away from Baldi. She began pacing with unease and wasn't planning on giving the Earthwing any explanation. There was one who might be able to help her with her shame. Who had granted her a child before. Perhaps it was possible to use the same magic with Baldi if she could only convince him. Without warning Kenina took to skies to seek him out.

Kenina finally woke up and she still seemed in a good mood from the night before. But as Baldirak opened his maw to speak, Kenina's mood suddenly changed. Her flames flickered with agitation again... yet there was something different about it. The flames stayed small, as if she were sad or something. Baldirak eye ridges pulled down in a sort of frown. Again, before he could say anything, Kenina got up and started pacing in a very uneasy manner.  And then, suddenly, without a word to the EarthWing, she took to the air and flew away. Baldirak stared after her with too many emotions for his now orange colored eyes to hold. Had he done something? Did Kenina regret what happened? Her sudden departure turned off whatever had been making him ignore his pain. Now he once more struggled to get up. When he did, he took off after his mate as fast as he could. "Keni--" When he opened his maw to call out to his mate, a plume of fire spewed out. Baldirak stopped in mid flight and hovered in place, his expression changing from concern for his mate, to confusion about what just happened. For a long moment he remained there, completely lost. Eventually, he snapped out of his little trance... but he didn't continue after his mate. She was back to her old self, apparently, so he would resume his role of staying out of her way. He made his way back to the EbonWing Isles. His eyes had changed back to pale blue.

---------------

(Finished)